Caught In The Shadow [Jenlisa]

Chapter Forty-Two -

Day 287: Kaiserslautern, Germany

She'd learned the hard way that there was no future when all she could see was revenge. The only thing revenge had ever given her was a brief moment of satisfaction, followed by an empty abyss. She was through with revenge. She wanted to feel full instead of empty, loved, instead of feared.

Love, Lisa reminded herself. Love was the purpose of all this. She'd been dreaming of this moment for nearly a year, but now that her moment had arrived, she hesitated. Was it the right thing to do? Should she take her own advice: leave and never look back? She wasn't sure.

As a slave trainer, she had trained at least a score of girls. Some had been willing, offering themselves as pleasure slaves to escape destitution, sacrificing freedom for security. Others had come to her as the coerced daughters of impoverished farmers looking to off load their burden in exchange for a dowry. Some had been the fourth or fifth wives of sheikhs and bankers sent by their husbands to learn to satisfy their distinct appetites. She had trained so many, she had forgotten their names.

She knew them all by heart now. Ojal Nath had ended up in Turkey; her master had died and passed her off to his son. Lisa had paid a king's ransom to set her free. She was safe at home with her family now, and she had enough money to support herself and her young daughter.

She'd been too late to save Pia Kumar, she had been dead for nearly five years. She had been beaten to death by her master's new wife. Lisa had made sure to bury the both of them together. Alive.

Isa Nasser, Nava Mazin, and Jamila Awad, had refused their freedom. They had come to her willing from the first and they lived happily with their respective masters/husbands. They'd been more terrified of Lisa than of remaining in their servitude. She'd wished them well and vowed to keep an eye on them.

Her years spent with Jiyong had built her a reputation and Lisa took full advantage of the fear she'd cultivated as Jiyong's 'loyal disciple'. A lot of blood had been spilled in the last ten months, some of it even belonged to Lisa, but it didn't buy redemption.

Lisa knew she could never be redeemed and she'd made her peace with it. She couldn't right the wrongs, but she could offer a better future to those she'd wronged for the sake of her own selfishness.

It wasn't about revenge. Lisa had had enough revenge to last her several lifetimes. The things she'd done to Jiyong and Jay in Mexico hadn't given her solace. They'd given her nightmares.

For Lisa, it had become about love. She loved Jennie. Through her, she'd learned what love could make a person do and it drove her forward. She had given her a gift and while she didn't deserve it, she tried to make sure it had not been wasted.

Her work was far from over and she remained dedicated to her task, but the road was long and Lisa was only human. There was a hole in her heart and each day it grew, threatening to pull her into a pit of despair.

Lisa, from her vantage point diagonally across the street, glanced at the girl she'd been observing for the last thirty minutes. Her hair was pulled away from her face, a heavy frown played across her mouth as she stared intently at the laptop sitting on the table in front of her. She fidgeted sometimes, alluding to a sense of restlessness she was unable to hide. She wondered why she seemed so anxious. As she eyed her beautiful face, Lisa felt herself bursting with hope and burning with shame.

After Mexico, Lisa had traveled farther and farther south, until she could book passage to Switzerland. She liked Zürich, she liked its diversity and wealth, and she knew no one would notice her there. She'd been putting her investments into commodities and she had enough money now to live as she pleased and travel the world to free the women she had wronged. Still, it wasn't in her nature to pursue being miserable, and so, she'd looked for Jennie.