Caught In The Shadow [Jenlisa]

Chapter Thirty- One -

Jennie

- www -

Day 10: Evening

"I have to pee," I say to Jeon. He makes a face, but doesn't comment. "What? People have to pee sometimes, Jeon."

"Yes," he says drolly, "I'm aware. I just don't understand why you feel the need to give me the specifics. A simple, 'I need a break' would have sufficed."

I laugh and hop down from my bed to walk into the lavatory. Jeon is a little stiff as I walk past him. He's avoiding my eyes and purposely staring out the window. He can be such a weirdo, but I can't help but wonder about him. I wonder what he's like when he isn't so wrapped up in his FBI persona.

You know what they say about the quiet ones.

I've been talking for hours. My mouth feels bone dry. I remove the plastic wrap from one of the cups and take a drink of water from the tap. It tastes like shit, but I swallow it anyway.

Somewhere far away in my mind, I know I should feel emotionally drained, or even weepy and sad. Mostly I just feel...nothing. I'm not sure why. I guess it's because I know how the story ends and with every word I utter I know I'm preparing myself for the eventuality of what's to come. It's like I'm telling a story that happened to someone else.

I love Lisa. I love her. I don't care anymore about the awful shit she put me through, what matters most is the fact my love for her, exists. No amount of talking or therapy will change what happened. It won't change how I feel.

She's gone, Jennie.

There it is. There's the pain. It's an ember forever burning in my heart. It's a reminder Lisa will live forever.

I've cried so much over the last ten days. I've been living in so much agony. I know when all is said and done, when Jeon has heard everything, when he and Kim move on – I'll be all alone with my pain and my love. But today – today I'm fine. Today I'm telling the story as if it happened to someone else.

I conclude my business in the bathroom, wash my hands and open the door. Kim is standing in the room with Jeon when I come out of the bathroom. The atmosphere seems thick, but with what, I'm not certain. Kim is smiling, but Jeon looks like someone ate his lunch out of the community fridge.

Kim holds up a large brown sack with grease stains on the bottom. "I brought dinner," she says to me.

"Awesome!" I say, surprised by the gesture.

Kim smiles at me, warmly. "I know how you love the hospital food, but I figured you might appreciate some greasy burgers and fries instead." My stomach growls in response and Kim lifts a smug eyebrow. "Agent Jeon, I know you try to stay away from the junk, so I brought you a grilled chicken salad. I hope that's okay."

I take the bag from Kim and set it on the rolling bed tray so I can get to my damn burger. Otherwise, I might try to eat through the bag. I reach in and grab the loose fries at the bottom and shove them into my mouth.

"Hawt! Hawt!" I say, but I keep chewing the salty deliciousness in my mouth. To hell with first degree burns, the fries are amazing! I'm so busy stuffing my face with loose fries it takes me a moment to realize no one else is talking. I look up and see Jeon and Kim are having some sort of awkward staring contest. I think Jeon is losing. Interesting.

Jeon finally clears his throat and looks toward his briefcase. "Actually, I have to go. I have some emails to answer and some calls I have to make. Um, thank you, though – for the food." Jeon begins gathering his things in a hurried fashion. I've never seen him so...flustered, I guess is the word.