Caught In The Shadow [Jenlisa]

Chapter Thirty-Eight -

Lisa

I woke. My head hurt, but it was nothing compared to the pain inside my chest. I pushed myself back onto my heels and raised a hand to my head. It came away bloody. I stared at the blood on my hand. There had been so much blood on my hands over the years.

I sobbed.

'"He left you there, Lisa. You were his revenge. Everyone knew it. The war came and he left you there to rot. No one crossed Jiyong after that, not once they knew what he was capable of. Even criminals love their families, their children."'

I wanted to tell myself there was absolutely no truth to what Felipe had told me, but I had to admit...it was possible. Jiyong had lied to me about how he knew Vladek. With all me and Jiyong had shared, I couldn't think of a reason for Jiyong to keep such a thing from me. Unless he had a very good reason.

Vladek is my father.

I shook my head. I couldn't think about that.

I looked around the room and saw it was empty; Felipe was gone. I had gone toward him with my knife, intent on killing him, but my anger had made me sloppy and Felipe had struck me with the gun. The fact he didn't shoot me only gave him more credibility.

I wished he'd pulled the trigger, but I knew why Felipe had left me alive. He wanted me to find Jiyong.

No! I can't.

I hunched over, the pain was too much to bear. There was no way I could possibly survive this betrayal. My entire life had been a lie. I had not been abandoned. I had not been rescued. I'd been taken from a mother who loved me and had tried to protect me by running away from Vladek. I'd been kidnapped by the only real father I'd ever known.

Jiyong.

Jiyong had cared for me. He taught me how to read, how to speak five languages. Jiyong had stayed up late and spoken with me because he'd known about the nightmares I used to have when I went to bed alone. He'd taught me how to defend myself. And the entire time....

He knew what he'd done to me. He listened to me recount the way Narweh used to rape me. He'd held me when I cried.

I screamed toward the ground.

I'll kill you! I'll kill you for what you've done.

"How could you?" I said aloud.

He must laugh at me.

An image of Jiyong and Jay popped into my mind. Their entire relationship had been suspect until that moment. If Jiyong was concerned about me learning the truth, it made sense to have someone around to watch me. I wondered if Jay knew the truth and bile crept into my throat.

Kill them both.

Slowly, I stood from my balled position on the floor. I looked around me and picked up my knife. As I held it in my hand, I shook with rage. Things would end tonight.

I trudged up the stairs, my bare feet slapping against the wood steps. My heart felt both fast and shallow. I had hungered for vengeance for so many years, never knowing the source of all my suffering had held my hand and pointed me toward my own father.

Vladek was not without guilt. He'd known what Jiyong did to him and still had not come for him. He had sacrificed his own flesh and blood for the sake of what? Money? Power? Cowardice?

I had been a pawn since I was a child. Nothing I knew could be trusted, even my memories manipulated me. There was no such thing as truth. The truth relied heavily on perception and mine had been fucked with since the beginning.