Caught In The Shadow [Jenlisa]

Chapter Thirty-Nine -

Jennie

- WWW –

Day 11: 5am

"Are you hurt?" Lisa whispers. Her blond brows are creased in concern. I've never seen her look like this. She's so happy, at ease.

I reach up and caress her beautiful face. "I'm okay."

She swipes at my eyes, "Then why are you crying?"

"I don't know," I say and continue to run my hand across her face. "I think I'm just happy."

She smiles, "Strange response to happiness, but okay." She leans down and I feel her lick one of my tears.

I squirm, "What are you doing?" I laugh.

"I was curious," she whispers very seriously.

"About what?"

"If happy tears taste the same as the sad ones," she says.

Her words make me cry even harder. I can't control them. I'm just so overwhelmed with everything. "And?" I manage.

"I think they're sweeter," she says and kisses me, "but it could just be your face." We dissolve into peals of laughter.

I hear voices.

I bolt up in bed. For a few seconds I have no idea where I am. The room is small. There are grates on the windows. The bed isn't Lisa's.

"I can't come back in three hours. I need to speak with her now," a man says. The voice is familiar, but I don't know why. I'm having trouble placing it.

It's Jeon. Lisa's not here, remember?

I feel tears rolling down my cheeks and clogging my throat. I'm awake now. I remember where I am. I'm in the hospital. Lisa is gone. I'm alone in the shadow again.

Only a few seconds ago, I held Lisa in my arms. I touched her. I smelled her. I tasted her flesh in my mouth. And now, she was gone. I'd forgotten.

The pain of remembering knocks the wind out of me and I take a deep breath. When I exhale, the sound coming out of me is pure grief. She was just here. She was just in my arms and I lost her.

"Help me! Please!" I beg. I'm not sure whom I'm begging. Maybe it's God. Maybe it's the devil. I just want the pain to go away.

The door to my room bursts open.

"Jennie?!?" Jeon yells.

I don't acknowledge him. I'm on my knees with my head pressed into the bed and I'm sobbing. I shut my eyes tightly, willing myself to go back to sleep. I want to go back to my dream, back to Lisa. I can't fucking breathe! I can't breathe without her. I don't want to.

"What's wrong?" Jeon says urgently, "Are you hurt? Talk to me!"

Go away, go away, go away.

"This is a hospital, Agent Jeon! Please, put away the gun!" a woman says.

"I love you, Lisa. I love you! If you care for me at all...please, don't do this! Please, don't leave me. I don't know how to live without you. Don't make me go back to trying to be someone I don't know how to be anymore."

"Jennie...."

"No!"

I scream in my sorrow. I can't help it. I would if I could. I know they're watching me. I can feel their hot stares against my back. They don't get it. No one does. I'm all alone and it's Lisa's fault.