Abuse | Taekook

4

maybe I should just end it all?

"Why are you still up?" Someone from behind him muttered. Taehyung turned around slowly, seeing Jungkook squinting his eyes while wearing a robe.

Jungkook then looked down at the older boy's hands that were shaking. "Taehyung... What are you doing?" He said, voice shaky. Taehyung wanted to yell at the younger boy, he wanted to lash out and just let his anger spill over. He was sick of this on and off thing with Jungkook. He'll act like he cares than the next thing you know he doesn't even want to touch or hold him. 

"I don't wanna live anymore.." Taehyung said, bursting into tears. Jungkook walked towards Taehyung quickly, pulling him into a hug. He hesitated to accept the hug, to let Jungkook touch him again. He just doesn't understand the younger boy, all he wants is to understand him, to know who he is. Yet he doesn't even recognize Jungkook anymore, and knowing that things have changed for good hurts. 

"I'm so sorry.." Jungkook whispered, holding Taehyung in his arms. He knew he couldn't push Jungkook away even if he wanted to. If he did, nothing good would come out of it. 

Taehyung let the tears soak into his shoulder, allowing Jungkook to hold him in his arms. "Please don't, for me?" Jungkook pleaded, cupping the older boy's face with his large hands.

"I won't, for you."  Taehyung said weakly, voice cracking. The truth is, Taehyung did still love him so much. He still had hope that Jungkook would maybe one day change and that he'll realize how much he's hurting his own lover. 

Jungkook kissed him softly, picking him up. He carried Taehyung up the stairs and then into their old bedroom. They didn't plan on sleeping, but Jungkook planned on cuddling with him. This sudden affection from the younger boy made Taehyung feel sick to his stomach. Jungkook never apologizes. He just does things to make him forget about it subconsciously. 

Taehyung hesitantly held Jungkook in his arms. He didn't want this, but he did need it, even if it wasn't necessarily genuine. Taehyung had a habit of convincing himself. Jungkook still loved him. Even if the bruises and scars scattered all around his body wasn't enough proof that it was actually the complete opposite. 

"I love you.." Jungkook whispered into Taehyung's ear, making the older boy shiver with uneasiness. Yet, he felt a little bit convinced that Jungkook was actually maybe a bit sorry for his actions and for how much he hurt him. 

"I love you too.." Taehyung whispered back, kissing Jungkook's cheek.

Jungkook pulled him closer, rubbing his back. Jungkook touched every bruise softly. Regret could be seen in his eyes. Jungkook wanted this to be the last bruise he ever gave Taehyung, but it wasn't the last, and they both knew it. "I wish I could control my anger.." Jungkook murmured, looking at the bruise on his lover's face.

Taehyung hid his face as he rolled his eyes. He knew for a fact he wasn't actually sorry. He always takes his anger out on Taehyung, always. To him, that is something that is controllable. 

Deep down, they both know Jungkook wasn't actually sorry, and that is what hurt Taehyung the most. He just wants everything to be alright again, for everything to go back to normal. The thought of him doing this again even after this very intimate moment makes him feel sick to his stomach. This felt like manipulation, but Taehyung felt addicted to the attention that he was finally getting from Jungkook. He wanted more and more of it.