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chérie hated being overly sensitive.
like yeah she broke up with a guy she really liked because he might be a dad and that they never truly communicated beside physically, which deeply affected their relationship.
yet still, chérie hated that even playing a stupid game made her think about him.
it didn't help that the user she just popped his cherry had jason's old username but with an underscore or that the conversation they had strangely reminded her of when she asked jason to pop her cherry back when they weren't all emotional and tangled in love.
it also didn't help that she was literally crying her eyes out when all she wanted to do today is to play an illegal erotic game and possibly masturbate her feelings away but wasn't possible because she just had to get sad and depressed over a username and the souvenir behind it.
chérie sniffed while rubbing her stuffy nose with a tissu, her bed was awfully cold and her small body was confined between her sheets and pillows. she had rolled herself into a burrito blanket while she let herself hiccup.
her laptop was now discarded on her side, she had disconnected from the game and thrown it in frustration. luckily, it only fell to her side and not on the floor. she didn't want to add 'getting a new laptop' to the list of her growing debt, right under getting new painting sets.
the past month, chérie tried to distract herself by painting, only she didn't have much inspiration. she even signed up to the gym, that only showed how exasperated chérie was to do something productive than just sulk in her apartment all day.
she thought about calling the cute guy from new year, but that only lead to think about a less cute person she didn't want to think about, gina.
when she saw the news about gina and jason, she didn't believe it until gina posted the article on her story claiming she was finally famous. that had angered and made chérie even more envious.
it took a while but chérie learned to let go of that feeling or overall jealousy. going to the gym, getting a job as a cashier at her closest grocery store, spending time with family, painting and watching documentaries were her ways to let go, even though most of it didn't work but they were great distraction for a few hours at least.
chérie coughed dryly when she felt her throat itch. she had managed to stop crying when she uncomfortably turned to her side and her eyes caught sight of a hidden painting in her open closet. tears welling back up in her red rimmed eyes as she bite her bottom lip to force herself to not cry.
ashley and vanessa had came one day to declutter any traces of jason in her apartment. his clothes, even though chérie kept his sweatshirt and his calvin klein boxer, took away any gifts he gave her and put it all away in a box at ashley's place until chérie was able to look at him without tearing up.
there was one thing she wouldn't somewhat get rid off beside the sweatshirt and boxer, the infamous canvas jason had admired the first day they meet. intentionally, the painting was meant to represent jason and her. back when she was still virginal and addicted to porn hub, she had painted the canvas when she had a very arousing dream of jason the night before.
only, she wouldn't of ever known it would become reality one day.
nonetheless, the painting was in her closet and she never had the heart to sell it or give it to ashley for safe keeping.
chérie huffed painfully, looking up at her ceiling to avoid any shed of tears and turned her back to the closet. she snuggled even more into her pillows, the one on her left was soaked with her tears and so comforted herself to the dry one on her right.
only that seemed to be a fatal error when she caught the odor of male fragrance and sweat, she forgot that it was jason's favorite pillow, often propping himself up or hitting her with it. selfishly, chérie buried her face into the familiar scent, while her eyelid weren't enough of a barrier to her waterfalls that now graced her flustered cheeks.
chérie hugged the pillow to her face as much as she could. she wouldn't help but remember how they were before all this drama, they were perfect. beside the constant nagging in the back of her reminding her of his job, but it was perfect. until the leaking, the pregnancy, the break up and now gina.
chérie's head was pounding by now. she let out a desperate sigh while her hand roamed around her bed with closed eyes. hoping to find the box of tissue before she ended up with snot on his favorite pillow.
she groaned when she felt the empty cardboard box and not the soft surface she had touched multiple times moments before. unwillingly, taking one last sniff from the pillow like a creep, she rolled out of her burrito blanket, and stretched her limbs just as her phone rang.
chérie didn't bother to the check the ID, knowing it was probably ashley checking up on her like she always did since the break up. quickly, she rubbed her eyes and nose, hoping to hide the traces of her crying in case ashley wanted to facetime her and blinked a few times.
she bought the phone up to her buzzing ears and let out a hum, indicating the person on the line to speak while she rubbed her swollen eyes with the back of her hand.
