Lose Control (The Jewel Project #5)

24.1|| Three Ways to Say Goodbye

Jerry had always been an active soul. Having nothing to do caused him mild bouts of anxiety, so he always busied himself with something, whether it was studying, reading, practicing his violin, or scrubbing the house clean.

If someone had told him he'd enjoy spending three days in bed with a woman, doing nothing but talking, he would have shaken his head and laughed to himself.

Well, not like it was all talking. It was sleeping, too. And something else he never thought he'd fully enjoy.

Because as far as his experience in intercourse went, he'd long come to terms that those minutes of pleasant afterglow were not worth the awkwardness and pressing feeling that he'd done something wrong. And Tina had never helped him feel otherwise. When they were done, she'd jump out of bed and hurry to take a shower as if she wanted to wash every last trace of him off her skin.

Sarah was shockingly different. Not only was the act itself amazingly pleasant instead of awkward, but she loved to just lay over him afterwards, caressing him further and smiling.

And so he found that the afterglow could be incredible, could last for hours, and that he loved what he was doing. If he timed everything right, he could never come down from the height because they'd just start over again.

In the space between their rounds of intimacy, they did talk. He told her everything about himself, a lot about the people he cared about, about what he was going through. The only thing he left out was the Agency because he wasn't sure how to go about that. And for once in his life, he didn't feel like leaving the nasty bits out. His fear about his brothers getting hurt, the pain he felt over his parents' divorce, over what his father did... His fear of intimacy and how his relationship with Tina had gone.

In return, she'd told him about her life, her misadventures with the bad boy she swore to never speak of and the pain that came with the loss of her unborn child. She'd cried in his arms for a good hour as she recounted how her high school sweetheart dumped her the moment he found out she was pregnant. The medical complication that came with her miscarriage and the probability that she would not be able to have children again. It had been so nasty that her house was bought from the money his family had thrown at her to never contact him again.

"Not that I'd ever want to," she said, between tears. "I called him after I lost the baby. Do you know what he said? He said thank God. He actually dared say that."

Jerry just held her tighter and kisses her hair, keeping her pressed against him until she finally fell asleep in his arms. This was a new feeling as well. Everything was new and wonderful with her. Especially how, once she was up, all she wanted was to get naughty again.

"I have no idea what you've done to me," he mumbled, laying on his front, his chin propped on top of his joined hands.

Sarah sat on his back, massaging his shoulders, wearing his shirt. "I'm just taking advantage of you while you're still here."

He groaned. "I was so excited about this, and now I don't want to move."

She leaned forward to get a look at him and her hair fell over and tickled his face. "You should be excited. It's such a wonderful opportunity and you've worked so hard to get here. Plus, I'll be here when you come back."

He twisted on his back, bringing her to sit on his stomach. "Will you?"

Her smile was so tender it made the morning so much brighter. "Of course. I..." She bit her lower lips and looked away. "Just don't fall for some alien chick."

Jerry laughed, even if he could tell what hid behind her affirmation. "You want to know what this is, don't you?"

Her eyes widened and she shook her head. "No. I told you, no pressure."