Jimmy fumbled through his blueprints, trying to make sense of them. It frustrated him beyond belief that no one on that tiny space station, which mostly fulfilled the purpose of a satelite, actually knew what it looked like and what the sockets he was fixing were for.
At first, he'd thought he didn't need to ask because he'd see it from outside. Bullshit. The thing was so big and his movement so impaired, it was hard to tell up from down, let alone where anything went. You could never appreciate gravity enough until it suddenly wasn't there anymore.
Sure, he'd trained at NASA and he could handle the conditions inside the station like a pro. But outside was an entirely different matter. Nothing in this world could have prepared him for the darkness and the silence of space. Every incursion into the void was just another chance to feel incredibly small. Helpless in the face of forces that could get him lost forever. The idea of not being able to save himself ten inches from the station filled him with dread every second he was out there. But he pressed on and blocked out everything, forcing himself to work outside.
It wasn't just him either. Roberta who worked with him was as freaked out, and not even Hannigan teased much about it, because he hadn't dared step out again since the first time. Jerry had tried, but it was obvious that he'd rather avoid it if he could. Truth was, everyone on the station could except for Jimmy and Roberta who had to do the grunt work.
The pressure of nothingness, the loneliness and the emptiness put a lot of things into perspective. Like what he wanted from life and why he was doing all this shit without being entrusted with all the information.
Which was why he was now dialing Jessie's connection while also trying to figure out just how the hell those blueprints created anything intelligible.
The Jessie matter felt a bit more urgent because she'd sent him into outer space with nothing but a framed photo of them together and a letter. A letter which explained everything. Why she married Esteban, how he'd betrayed her trust, how she'd finally divorced him and found out she was adopted.
There was honesty and there was hope in that letter. She knew she'd made a mistake, she owned up to it. And just like in his case, her past didn't change how she felt about him. So she wanted to pick up where they'd left off. If he felt the same.
Felt the same... The thought plagued him and, as it had become customary whenever it did, he glanced at the picture of them. It was simple, just the two of them side by side in the park, leaning against each other and smiling ar the camera.
God, he missed her. Her voice, her smile, her smell. The way she stretched in the morning and let out a sound like a mewe when she was about to go to sleep.
The way she laughed, joked, pointed out the better things in life. The way she touched him, the way she kissed him.
The way she made him feel.
Feel the same... He didn't feel the same. Time apart had changed things. Being away from her had made him realize how much life she breathed into him. He loved her and in the end, her past made no difference, because she'd never lied to him about anything else. A desire to bury a crappy past he could understand.
He really didn't care about it as long as she loved him.
Time had not passed in vain. They couldn't pick up where they left off because neither of them was still there.
"Hey, still at it?" Jerry entered the room, seeming a bit more lighthearted than usual.
Jimmy shook off the dreams of Jessie and focused on the papers in front of him. "I'll be at it until I figure out just what the hell this is all supposed to mean."
YOU ARE READING
Lose Control (The Jewel Project #5)
Adventure"It's never going to end, is it? The rivalry, the hatred, the madness. Not even now. Not even after so many years." It has been three years since the last jewel was recovered, and the Agency seems to have put the project to rest. They have a new tar...
