Jessie couldn't believe how awkward things were. She knew her little escapade hadn't come without consequences, but the guilt was killing her. And even if she was happy she'd managed to catch Jimmy for even a minute before he took off, that tiny interaction made her miss him so much, it felt like she had a hole in her chest.
"This sucks," she mumbled, staring out into the desert.
Kyle leaned his elbows on the concrete railing of the balcony next to her and admired the landscape as well, a small crease on his forehead, as if something slightly bothered him. "It's going to take you a while to get back into it."
"No, I don't mean that. You have no idea how easy that was." After all, she'd been someone else completely for the months she'd been missing. This was just like waking up. "It's just..." She clutched her fingers in her hair and pulled a little. "I'm so sorry."
"And you're going to continue being sorry for a while," he said, his voice so calm it was annoying. "Actions have consequences, Jess."
"I didn't even get to say hi to Jerry," she mumbled. "And I really don't like it that Kay's upset with me." Jessie had missed her too, more than she'd realized.
"To be fair, Kay's upset with everyone right now."
"Are you really going to do it?" She looked to him. "Let go if she says it's over?"
He swallowed heavily. "What would be the point to hold on then?"
"You can still fix this, you know."
"I know." He let out a sigh, his gaze lost in the distance.
Jessie focused on the landscape, too. The reddish dunes in the distance created a powerful contrast with the diverse greenery in the hotel garden. It was a very beautiful place, from the layout with columns and mosaics which resembled a maur castle, to the garden and the view of the distant desert. It was a regular tourist trap.
But even if she had a million tiny details to take in, her eyes raised to the sky and the full moon. Had Jimmy made it up there safely? How was he? Had he read her letter? Did he know now? A tear slid down her cheek.
"Hey." Kyle wiped the tear off her face with his thumb.
The tender gesture almost sent her into full blown crying. "I just miss him so much."
"I know. I miss him, too. And her."
"Unlike me, you can actually go to her."
He turned, leaning his back against the railing, arms folded over his chest. Jessie turned to face him too, wiping another stray tear from her cheek.
"This is a another thing that gets to me. I'm not used to seeing you give up." He just hummed, so she took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. "I mean it, Kyle. It's obviously hurting you. You've never been one to just wait for things to happen to you."
"She needs to figure out what she wants. I'm sick of leading. I want an equal partners in all of this."
Jessie felt like a right bitch for saying it, but it was as clear as day to her. "Do you really think she can pull that off?"
He frowned and tilted his head. "What?"
"You're overwhelming most of the time. And I don't mean that in a bad way. Kay obviously loves that about you. But it also makes it really hard for someone to actually keep up with you."
"You can keep up with me."
"I'm your friend, not your girlfriend. I can tell you to fuck off and go home."
YOU ARE READING
Lose Control (The Jewel Project #5)
Adventure"It's never going to end, is it? The rivalry, the hatred, the madness. Not even now. Not even after so many years." It has been three years since the last jewel was recovered, and the Agency seems to have put the project to rest. They have a new tar...
