SHOUT

Attention

|Chapter 15|Joshie|

I didn't know where Asen's locker was located, so I ended up getting out of the boy's locker room first. The PE area was split into five sections: the football field, soccer field, baseball/softball field, the gym, and the outdoor basketball area(which is where we usually wait for the gym teachers).

I was standing around the first court (there were six) on the right-hand side.

PE is the worst class ever. I hate it only because they grade on participation in sports that we briefly touch on regardless of how capable one is at doing them. If you suck at it, you are graded poorly and I am one of the people that suck at sports. They don't even give an A for effort.

There was a sudden chatter arising from people that were waiting around the basketball area.

I looked around to see what they were talking about and saw Asen walking towards me from far away. He was wearing his own fitness clothes instead of the school one so that on its own brought attention since not many people do it because points are taken off. His clothes consisted of a black tank top, black shorts, and sneakers. Though his clothes were part of the reason people were talking about him, the main reason was the way they fit him. He had a really nice body and since he often wears a sweater and normal jeans, it was not usually visible.

I mean it's only natural, right? His parents own a dance studio so they most likely forced him to learn how to dance growing up, but damn who knew dancing could get you such a good body...hold on...WHAT HECK I'M I THINKING?! AT THIS RATE, I'M NO BETTER THAN THE OTHERS WHO ARE DROOLING OVER HIM!

"So, do we wait here for the teacher or are you just waiting for me here?" He was already in front of me by the time I snapped out of my thoughts.

I could feel the stares of my fellow peers. It was suffocating.

"Joshie, don't think about the people around us, just focus on me or the ground if you get nervous looking at people in the eyes, heck I'll even avoid eye contact if it makes you feel better," he spoke so softly as if he cared so much about me. It felt unreal that someone so troublesome like him could be so kind.

I nodded as a way to say okay, then immediately realized that I had to find a way to tell him that during PE I have no form of communication since the teachers don't allow paper or phones out here.

"What's wrong? You look worried," he gave me a concerned glance.

How is he able to read me so well?

I made the hand motion for writing on paper by using my left hand as the paper and my right hand as the pencil then pointed at my left hand and shook my head.

"Another game of charades, how fun!" he grinned.

This idiot...

"Lucky for you I'm good at this, you just said that you currently don't have the ability to write what you want to say. I'm right, aren't I?" He boasted.

He was right. He got it right away.

I nodded then made the hand movements for texting then shook my head.

He nodded his head and pretended to be in deep thought, "You enjoy texting me and you get sad that I don't text you often. Don't worry Joshie, I'll text you every day if that's what you want."

I blushed and immediately shook my head.

"I'm just kidding, but ouch, how mean, anyways you said that you also don't have a phone to text me so that means you have no way of communicating with me," he once again, answered correctly

I nodded.

"Don't worry Joshie, we'll find a way to communicate, and if not I'll just ask yes or no questions and try guessing by your hand gestures," he smiled brightly.

Is he good or bad? I'm beginning to get confused.

"Alright everyone get in your lines, I'm taking role!" Mr. Raymond blew his whistle.

•••

|Asen|

Once again, I had been the center of attention in the class, which believe it or not actually makes me uncomfortable. I've never been treated this way before so it was a foreign feeling.

Where were they all before? Acting as if nothing happened. I hate seeing people that used to know me in the past now suddenly get all interested in who I am. Fuck them all.

Mr. Raymond let us have a free period today meaning we were allowed to do anything we wanted, I quickly ditched the group of girls that formed around me and walked around with Joshie.

"So from what I've gotten so far from the observations I've been doing, is that no one really bothers to talk to you nor does anyone bother to approach you vice versa. When I start to actually help you I want you to try and get out of the bubble you have allowed yourself to get into," I started to tell him what the future plans were now that I've seen most of the people he is surrounded by. I turned to look at him and he had wide eyes that were full of fear. "That's, of course, when you're ready! Not any time soon!" I added knowing he would need the reminder.

He relaxed and nodded his head. I looked at him for a while taking in his features and actions. He hadn't really changed much from when we were young. He still has the same light brown hair, the same eyes though I could only see the left one now, and the same inner personality. The changes are in his actions and his outer personality. He is no longer the kid who would try to socialize with others. Don't get me wrong, Joshie had always been shy, but now it's no longer shyness, it has become some sort of fear, a hesitance. One I know too well of. I don't know what caused him to be like this, but I really do want to help him, I want him to be able to have a group of friends he can talk and laugh with. I want him to hear his own voice outside of his house and not while he's pissed off. I want him to not be scared anymore.

He looked back at me, not really looking me in the eyes and nodded his head as if to ask "What?"

Once I realized what he was asking, it immediately sunk in that I had been staring at him for a while. "Oh, sorry! I was just lost in thought..."

He nodded understandingly.

Will I ever manage to help him speak out loud?