𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

tolerance | thirteen

[unedited]

{j's}

The trip was fun but yeah everything's back the way it is now. As I am working I saw Mingyu, flirting with a college guy, but looks older than him. But mingyu is taller. Well ain't my business.

I shrugged my way out of the scene. But then I saw Seongcheol coming down from 2nd floor. We met eyes. And I went unto him for a hug. But I realized we're in public. I was kinda shy.

"What?" Seongcheol started.

"Nothing I missed you." I replied.

Seongcheol blushed.

"What the fuck, Jeonghan. Are we being blunt now?" The shockness in his face is priceless.

I laughed.

But I know, its about to get serious.

"No, Seongcheol. Let's visit your sister."

His mood totally changed. So is his aura.

"Why should we?"

"Let's get closure, Seongcheol."

"Fuck closure. The next thing I don't wanna happen is that out of compassion you'll get back to her. Not now, not that I have you."

"You still don't have me if I have her."

His jaw clenched. It was a sign he was angry. He immediately walked out of the scene without replying to me. It was quite shocking. It was very confusing. What should I do? He's angry at me too.

I released a huge sigh.

I just went to some hotel or some inn something cheap and stayed there for a while. And slept.

The morning came, there were no signs of Seongcheol. I thought he'd be worried. But what I felt was fear. I feared him leaving me. Now he's the one having compassion.

We know, the typical story. Out of this shit. Just to make things alright, he'll let go of me. For things just to be fine.

I am frustrated right now. I don't know who to contact. But I still texted him a hello anyways. Just in case he'll reply.

I'll just go to work for now. I went to the convenience store and bought undies. And went to some shirt shop and got some really cheap clothes and changed. Went to a perfume shop and sprayed the free test.

Yes, this is how I live now.

I went in to work and yes he was at the entrance waiting. I thought he'd greet me as I enter the building. But I didn't get anything, even a look from his eyes. None.

It was painful.

How can saying a sentence cause so much pain?

But, yes I am a strong person. I can fix this. For me and Seongcheol.

-

After work, it was tiring but I still attempted to go home to Vein. Of course, I saw Seongcheol a lot earlier. Yes like a lot. And yeah, he's totally avoiding me.

Lights were on when I came to the house. As I entered it was clean. And music was playing. The smell of her perfume can be smelled from everywhere inside the house.

I heard a loud bang upstairs and a moan.

Fuck.

Emotions came through me and tears filled my eyes. I walked out of the door angrily and slammed the door. It was fucking unbearable. It truly hurts.

It was getting too confusing.

Fuck.

Just fuck this.

I went to the convenience store, again. And got some beer. Fuck, just give me the chance to drink. I drank all the way. Fucking feelings. Fucking love. So hard. So complicated.

Maybe, it was all wrong.

It wasn't meant for me.

I was just drinking and drinking.

-

[s의]

It was fucking tiring earlier. There were loads of work. I went on my cellphone for a peek. And yeah, I saw his message again. It was one fucking message.

Hello.

The fuck am I supposed to do with that? Is he expecting me to say sorry?

I was about shut down the phone when it rang and it was from Jeonghan.

"What?" I said, irritatedly.

"Heey~ your motherfucking sister-"

"Where are you?!"

"Huh?"

"Where the fuck are you?"

"Whut, uhm an inconvenience store?"

"Inconvenience?"

"Its neAr tHe HoUseeE~"

"You are fucking drunk. What's your address?"

"Ask, your fUckIng sister-"

And I heard him puke which made me stand up immediately.

The fuck am I thinking?

I messaged mom where my sister lives. She answered the exact address tho. And did not hesitate to type it in fucking Google Maps and drove there.

I was rushing and sweating at the same time. I am so worried. What is wrong with me?

Fuck this Jeonghan.

How come I cannot say no to you?

I can't refuse you.

I was driving at 120mph and hell yeah, idgaf about anyone right now. Only HE matters.

I arrived at the house after 15 minutes and fuck I have to find the convenience store.

-
[j's]

My vision is fucking blurry. But I still wanna drink. I can't speak clearly. My head's also getting heavier.

Fuck this shit.

I placed my head down the table, but instead I felt a warm hand.

I turned my head up slowly.

It was like a fucking dream.

The person was still blurry.

"S-seongcheol?"

"Fuck, baby. What happened to you?"

"Your fucking sister cheated. Fuck, I even heard them having sex."

"Shh, its okay baby."

I felt his arms around me. I don't know how he's doing it. But the main thing is its keeping me warm.

It was my home.

It was something I could run to.

Something I'd hold on for.

I can't describe it.

But then my vision when so blurry and felt tears and felt asleep.

----
a/n

long time no see.

it was short. but it was worth writing.

my heart while writing this is like bejdksbxjcj