𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

tolerance | seventeen

[unedited]

{seongcheol's}

I was staring blankly outside of the window. Totally doesn't what to do. It was depressing. The noise, the view, the emptiness, it was haunting me.

I was jeopardazing for the nth this year. I thought, since the new year started good. I thought, I'd be too. But look at me, fucked up.

Jealousy, it was what I felt whenever I see someone happy, but it also makes me think.. how much happy are they? Are those eyes sincere? Do they smile because they want to, or is it just an act.

Emphasizing my sadness, it is hard for me to work these days. Always out of focus, just me being the old me.

Obsessed with the way you look at me. Even my heart couldn't forget. It always gets me whenever I see, those eyes, that was meant for me.

Next, I tried to forget you. I was wanting to forget you. But how, how can I forget someone I truly loved.

Good mornings, good nights I hear that from everyone. They tell me that they like me, They like to be with me. But it is only one person that all the time I wanna be with. Its too common, give me more.

Happiness, where can I find this? They say it comes from many things. But for me, its you. You are the meaning.

Aggresively, I am trying to find you. Everytime I look around. This place inside me feels so empty. Fill it with your love, yours only.

Never would I forget you. Realization came to me. You were the greatest thing in my life. You are worth grieving for. And worth crying for.

I don't know myself these days. Everytime I look at something.. I remember you.. Why does it have to be you?

Why can't you just disappear?

"Hey, time to get out of bed. Stop staring in blank again." Ark said behind me.

"Thank you, for being here."

"I was more worried about you."

"Even though im a rival?"

"I never considered you a rival, Seongcheol. From the start I knew my place. It was you that was meant for him."

I smiled at him.

Ark? Well he was an old friend even before Jeonghan I think. Because obviously, he's the one who introduced and discovered Jeonghan. But seems like he approached Jeonghan in a friendly way, so they ended up becoming friends.

"Eat downstairs, I bought some fried chicken."

For some reason my tummy made a sound and we both looked at each other and nodded.

Im still wearing red things.

Jeonghan's favorite color is red.

Fuck, can I just forget him?

I rolled my eyes, and just went downstairs to eat. I can smell the chicken from afar and it makes me wanna eat more. Even though, I ain't in the mood.

"So, I heard we were invited to this banquet. It was for company leaders."

"Is my company invited?" I asked,

"I guess so, why?"

"Then, do I need to get ready?"

"Chill, its still next month."

It was an awkward silence that ate us for five minutes I was just eating here but him?

He looks awkward but im gonna say that. Its just gonna get more awkward. Instead, I just did everything I could just not a make eye to eye contact with him.

After a few seconds I heard his breath, it sounded that he was about to say something and my ears were ready.

"Seong-"

"What?"

"So uh, this is gonna be a little awkward."

"About what?"

"Uhm, about the banquet. I heard that Jeonghan's company will organize it."

"So?"

"So, he would be there obviously."

I don't know what to feel.

Excited?

Nervous?

Happy?

I was just looking forward to our meeting. And I hope he still remembers me. What does he feel right now, I know that he probably knew my company's gonna come.

But then, let's see Yoon Jeonghan..

Who's gonna win?