𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

tolerance | sixteen

[unedited]

{j's}

We were all feeling heavy, of course. Vein died. If this is one of her stupid plans, I'd have to go to heaven and slap her.

But, it seems like this has a very good reason. I was looking at Seongcheol. We can't be very close. Their parents still doesn't know. But we both know we raised suspiscions of what we really are.

I was looking at the coffin far away. And it hurts my heart just even seeing it. I signalled Seongcheol which looked at me when I looked at him, to go to the car.

I went up first and he followed me.

We both went in the backseat of the car.

I hugged him.

"Shh, its okay." He said.

He was patting my head. It was the only thing that I needed. His voice, his everything, his comfort. It'll never fail to take care of me. But yeah, I was crying.

"Why? Why do you think she did this?" I questioned him.

"Does she know about us? Jeonghan?"

"She knew, but she never confirmed anything. She also cheated, okay? And she never contacted me again for closure."

"Well, baby.. that's complicated right?"

"It is, Seongcheol."

We both sighed out of frustration we couldn't think about anything right now. But we're like cuddling to put aside our sadness.

After an hour we both got out of there and went home. It was still painful to look at the coffin. I can't even get one glance of it. I just can't.

We were riding his car. We were silent. Knowing that his sister died, somehow it is very awkward for us to talk about it. Because there is a possibility that we both are the cause.

--
After waking up we went to the chapel where my sister is. We were slightly happy and was more smiling than yesterday. Well we got a good night sleep right.

I touched the band-aid on my neck. Hiding my hickey of course. And yeah, pretty muh that, I super can't walk well. But, can't let that show. Or else we'll be scolded.

We both arrived there and saw his parents. We were about to greet tem but they immediately cut us.

"Go to the house, lets talk."

We just fucking arrived here tho? They could've texted us not to leave. Urgh. I was slightly annoyed but, also im nervous. They didn't want this to be public so there has to be a reason in it.

We went back in the car.

"You see the attitude, Seongcheol? You really are like your mother."

"You hate your in-laws now?" He said.

"Future." I added.

"Just let them be, they were really angry you know, especially mom. Vein was a favorite. They really forgot about and focused on her. So, at the age of sixteen, I started working at a company and worked way up. Without the help of them."

"Really?" I was shocked. I didn't knew.

"My family don't have a business. I worked and studied at the same time. Now I own one. They don't even know that im owning one. Maybe there was a help from them. Thank them for the house and food."

"They helped a little, I guess."

"Yeah, and I had no bills. It was easy for me to work hard and save money."

I was just nodding and we arrived at their house. So we were nervous all of a sudden. When his parents went to the dining room.

Fuck, this has to be serious.

When we both went to the kitchen room, their parents were staring at us, all of a sudden. Angrily.

"Explain this."

They showed a letter and handed it to Seongcheol roughly.

Hi mom, hi dad. Its me Vein. Im sorry for what I did. By the time you read this, I am dead. Obviously. Why did I did this? Your son did this to me. He really went in the way huh? I couldn't handle the pain, and yeah I decided to do this. Dumb? For love, right? Cause of death, being fool at love. But, can you blame me?

Seongcheol was baffled and looked at me.

"What?" I immediately asked.

"I didn't do anything." Seongcheol said.

"I knew it Seongcheol, you thought we wouldn't raise suspicion on you?! You were the only one that could cause this! You always fight with your sister and now she's gone!"

"No, maam. You're wrong, Seongcheol did not-"

"Shut up! None of this is your business."

"It is! I am dating Seongcheol."

It seems that Seongcheol were shocked that I said that. I know it wasn't a good time but, I had to. Seongcheol looked at me and I can't read his face. While his mother and father were looking at him very angry.

"How could you do this, Seongcheol. If you were the one who died then it wouldn't be like this! I don't want a son like you! You are homophobic and trash! Get out you bastard! Get out!"

He immediately walked out and I followed him. Fuck, have I caused too much again?

He was getting ready to get in the car and I was also too.

He was waling calmly but his face, disagrees.

"I'm sorry, Seongcheol."

"No, it wasn't your fault."

He held my hand. But I wasn't comfortable to hold it. I was just so lost at the moment. I was fucking lost. I don't know what to do.

-----

We've been staying on this hotel for one week and we both aren't okay. We haven't been really seeing each other. Even tho, were in one office. I don't feel him going in here. After that day, we both knew we weren't okay.

Do I really have to leave this place? What if im the one who'd adjust? Will it make him happy? Or his parents, I think.

I immediately packed my things again. And called someone on the phone.

"Hey! Cutie, long time. I missed you, how are you."

"I need your help, Joshua. I need to leave here. And live there."

"What? Here in America?"

"Please. I really need to."

"Well, uh sure. When?"

"I don't know, im gonna do my papers now."

"Why is this all of a sudden?"

"Look, im gonna explain it to you when I get there."

---

after a week

I was looking at the signs to where's the lobby of my flight. And when I found it. I just sat there waiting for them to call us.

I felt like im gonna regret this soon. But I am happy to be away, this would solve a problem I think.

I looked at my phone and saw Seongcheol's missed calls. Im sorry.

I texted him one more time.

'Im sorry, I'm leaving for good. And im leaving for good causes, be happy.'

I sent it. The last message i'd ever send to him.

"To all boarders, please go to.."

Well I think its time.

Goodbye.

---

a/n

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!