Chapter 26 : I Know Who I Am

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I don't say anything, just silently turn around and walk away. Seriously? My best friend of 10 years? I walk into Sammie's room where she's laying, listening to music. She sits up immediately.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

I shrug, or rather half shrug because of my arm, and sit beside her. I don't want to talk. or maybe that's why I came in here. I don't know.

"I'm sorry I've been to myself and not talking to you," she says softly.

"They were making out," I blurt out.

"Who was?" she demands.

"Tristan and...," I say but she cut me off.

"Tristan?" she says, getting up. I pull her back down.

"Genna," I say softer than a whisper, but she still understands. That's when I realize something. Sammie is a way better friend than someone I've been "friends" with for 10 years.

Her face softens and she looks at me and then hugs me softly. "Jazzy."

"It's fine," I say, but my voice cracks.

"Jasmine," she says looking at me.

"It hurts. Okay? Maybe I didn't even like Tristan that much and that the fact he made out with Genna after making me get close to him and flirting with me isn't the part that gets me the worse. Maybe it's just that first Jeremiah? Than him?"

"First Chad," Sammie says.

Chad cheated on me? When? With who? I only knew that we broke up. What else have people not told me?

I groan in frustration and lean on her shoulder."I've been cheated on 3 times in the past 3 months, kinda.Its not even that he cheated! He just... Ugh... I liked him. First Jeremiah and than Tristan? Whose next?"

"You almost dated Cameron too," she laughs.

"God, I'm going to date everyone of the freaking Karter kids," I groan.

"Me next," she laughs and I laugh.

"We'd be cute," I say when Tristan walks in the room.

"Sammie. I have to talk to you NOW. Like ser.... Hey Jasmine," he says noticing me. I raise my eyebrow.

"About what?" I ask.

"Something private," he says getting embarrassed and nervous.

"Oh, like that make out session with Genna?" I scream and push through him and see Genna in the hall red faced and tears in her eyes.

"Why are YOU the one crying? I liked him Genna! I did!" I say, shaking my head and walking to my room and slamming the door and sobbing into my pillow.

"What's wrong with me?" I ask myself sobbing into my pillow.

"You pick the wrong guys and let them treat you like shit," he says.

I sit up. "Who the HELL do you think you are?" I ask turning around and see Mitch.

"Mitchell Joel Karter," he says.

"I don't let them treat me like shit!" I say and start crying again, "Just leave me alone."

He rubs my back. "I know what it's like," he tells me in a voice different from his normal. This voice is soothing. "Being cheated on. I thought she was the one, which, by the way, is how you felt about Jeremiah. I listened to you recite your poetry and writing when you first found out."

"She cheated on me. Not with someone I trusted, but still. It hurt. Jasmine, you're the nicest girl I've ever met. I know Jeremiah... He really loves you," he tells me and then gets off my bed.

"Thank you," I whisper and I just see him smile ever so slightly and he gets up and starts to leave. "And Mitch?"

"Yeah?" he says stopping and turning around.

"Since you're the only honest one, was I desperate?"

"You lost your father, a guy you were really close to and your boyfriend cheated on you. You're space for a comforting male was open," he shrugs before leaving and saying, "You tell me."

And he's right... I was vulnerable and naïve and just wanting something. And with that I go fall into a deep sleep.

_______________________________________

"Jasmine," I hear. "Jasmine, wake up."

I groan and open my eyes to see Genna. "What do you want?"

"JazHands," she says softly.

"No. Don't call me that!" I practically scream at her. "You knew I liked him, you backstabbing bitch!"

"Jasmine...," she tries.

"No, don't talk to me. I don't want to see you. Just go home," I say, meaning it. "How could you? After Jeremiah... and Chad."

"Who told you?!" she asks, almost angrily.

"Sammie, who is a much better friend than you! Now go!"

"Fine, I'll go pack and get a ticket to go home," she scoffs.

"Bye!" I scream and then lay down again. It's been 10 minutes when someone else comes in.

"Jaz," he says.

"Who kissed who?" I ask.

"She kissed me. Honestly," Tristan tells me.

"But you kissed her back." I say... not even really ask because I know what I saw.

"Yeah.." he says gently.

"Why?" I ask softly.

"I don't know..." he tells me.

"I don't know why I'm hurting Tristan. We haven't even kissed or.. or anything... I don't know. I don't know," I softly say.

"You hurt because it was the 4th time a male has hurt you in the past few months," he tells me.

"Did I love Jeremiah?"

"Yes, you did. Why else would you keep wanting him back when he hurt you?"

"All he did was hurt me. God, I'm so stupid."

"No, not all he did. He loved...," he pauses and corrects himself, "loves you unconditionally."

"Can you get him for me?" I ask softly. He nods and a few minutes later someone enters.

"What made you change your mind about me?" he asks.

"Mitch and Tristan telling me how much you love me unconditionally."

He comes over to me and sits on my bed next to me. "I do."

This is the first time I look in his eyes. His blue-grey amazing, heartwarming, breathtaking, sweet, innocent eyes. But it's not until I see a little scar over his eye that all the memories come rushing back.

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