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Y/N's POV- Present-ish (lol)

I can't believe I purposely kissed a mafia member. Do I have no self respect anymore? I won't lie, when I kissed Minho there wasn't any planning behind it, he was there for me and I truly felt like he was a nice guy even knowing of the possibility of him being be that exact opposite of that. What freaked me out a bit was Wooyoung's overreacting over one kiss, is he jealous? Do I care?
Getting back home so late probably wasn't a good idea, I was sure dad had a late shift today and wasn't coming back until morning, guess who was wrong. Me. A lot of questions were asked and I lied about all of my answers, a heavy feeling of guilt coming right along with it. After my interrogation I tried to sleep but it was hard with all of the events of the day coming back over and over. This was one of those moments I needed a friend to let it all out to, but I got the message from Hongjoong that I can't even dare to speak about this to anyone, especially my house mate, aka mafia leader, of course. What is the point of Felix being here other than listening to my rambling? I miss the good old days when it was so easy to babble all of the nonsense in my head to him, we were always so honest with each other but lately he seems a bit distant, don't know why though.
After an hour of reading some fanfics on my phone I start to get really hungry, missing out on dinner wasn't such a good thing, my lazy body doesn't want to get off bed but my stomach is literally growling for food so I must feed this beast. I try to get out of my bedroom without making any extremely loud noises and, luckily, I succeed. As I take a good look at the fridge my eyes spot a tiny recipient with the dinner's leftover: •your favorite food•. Hell yeah!!!
The hardest part of not making any noises was to heat the delicious food, why didn't anyone invent a silent microwave yet? As I get ready to dig in to the warm meal, a demon creeps behind me and scares the living crap out of me, maybe I jumped a little bit but no one can prove that. "What are you doing up at 3 AM?" A messy haired Aussie stares at me and back at my food "Right back at ya, bro." Could Felix read my mind when I was thinking about telling him everything? Him coming right now felt like a sign, unfortunately it was one I couldn't take...
After five minutes of me trying to eat in silence Felix finally decide to ask me what in the world I was doing a few hours ago, making the call of not lying to my best friend, I tell him the truth: I went to the club with some friends, met a hot dude, kissed him and came back home. It's not a lie. Isn't the whole truth as well though.
My friend looked so surprised at my statement, he probably couldn't believe I turned into the kind of person I used to judge so badly, never did it occur to me this would happen, nor did he think of it as well. It was clear that all that I told him was a secret and he couldn't go around telling his friend, who I also kissed but who even remembers that right, or my dad. Yes, I still don't feel comfortable sharing these sort of things to him, not having a mother to talk about boys is a bit sad but it isn't any easier to try and speak about it with dad. Too awkward.
My belly is indeed very pleased after being all filled up by the leftovers, they were so good yum. A well deserved feeling of exhaustion starts to kick in and I start to get very sleepy. Bed, I'm coming back home. As I'm making my way upstairs a tall hooded boy appears in front of me, if you think that scared me out, you might be right. "Let's talk outside, hm?" Where did that come from? He has such an empty look on his face, so serious. Might be just a guess but I think he wants to talk about us? 911 send help, pleaaaase.

Both of us step outside into the cold, which wasn't such a great idea since I'm still only wearing that tiny dress, Chan takes no time in taking off his hoodie and right afterward handing it to me. His smell roams around my nose, a nice scent if you may ask, I take a minute to look around the streets trying to be casual and pretend this situation is completely normal to me. We both quietly sit down on my doorstep, after a couple of long minutes I finally decide to speak up "What is this about Chan? Please, be straight forward with me." surprised by the sudden break of silence, the Aussie stares intently at my face and caresses my cheek in a sweet gesture "I want to know what we can be Y/N, that night we kissed... I want it again." his words take me by surprise, ever since we did that he hasn't said a word about it, and now this. Doubtful thoughts start to come up in this pretty brain of mine, if we were to be together would it be just because I was told by a mobster to do so or do I actually have feelings for this gorgeous and sweet guy? Do I even have a choice here?

Maybe the moments I spent thinking over my doubts were enough to make him a bit unstable, his once soft hands grab my face with such force that it leads to me getting hella tense over it, I try to tell him to stop but lose myself staring at him in confusion and awe. Dark eyes fixate their gaze on my whole body in such a frightening way, his lips threatening to inch closer but they never do, not until I said he could, which I do, don't know exactly why but it feels like it's my only option left. "I... want it too-" He doesn't waste one second to hurry his actions and finally be able to do as he pleases, our mouthes smashing together once again, those familiar lips bringing me a wave(hakuna matata) of mixed feelings. This isn't a time to be confused, I'll have plenty of time in my sleep to wonder if what I'm doing is wrong.

The chilly night doesn't go easy on us and I notice even Chan is trembling from the cold, guilt starts to eat me whole for taking his warm hoodie. Probably reading my thoughts, the big blonde holds me tight and presses our cheeks together in an utterly cringy way "Babygirl, you already warm me up." Ok, press pause and have a heart attack from the most embarrassing moment of my life. My cheeks give out an obvious blush, which could be because is simply cold, and I catch myself searching for his hand. "Oh hell no. You're freezing, let's get inside." I'm almost able to pull him up but before I can actually do it, I'm trapped into his cold arms one last time. After we hug I make sure he puts some warm clothes which came along with a last soft and sweet goodnight kiss but I, maybe purposely, forget to give him his hoodie back. It's mine now.

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HEEEEY
Tomorrow I have a physics test, help me.
Hope you enjoyed the chapter
See ya next week.

Mandy

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