I wake up suddenly, so suddenly that for a split second I forget that I’m not in my own bed in my own house. I’m in a small double bed in Newcastle. I’m hanging off the end, I’m sure if I was to move just a bit I’d fall out and hit the cluttered floor because I’m squeezed in one bed with a fidgety three year old and Cheryl. They both have more than enough room. Paisley’s lying on her back, her heads to the side and one arm is tucked up holding her closed fist to her cheek and her other arm is stretched out over my chest. It’s not still dark but it’s not yet light. The open blinds send a greyish blue wash across the small room. The sheets are cold and crisp, I think Joan must have washed them before we came over on Friday because I can still smell the unfamiliar soap powder clinging to the fabric. I sit up slightly seeing if there’s any room to move over but unfortunately not. Even with the lack of room and my bare arms being teased by the cold. I can’t help the smile growing on my face. If my phone was in reach I would definitely snap a quick picture to cherish this moment for as long as I can. Cheryl’s still fast asleep. She’s on her side with her arm draped over Paisley and her face is lost in her long blonde locks. I have no room but she has no sheets, Paisley must have tugged them over and Cheryl’s just put up with it. She has her natural pout going on, her dark eyelashes are spilling onto her skin creating black shadows making them look darker and longer then they are, I didn’t even think that was possible.
I decide to get up. I carefully remove Paisley’s arm from on top of me and I swing my legs out the bed. I sit up and carefully peel the covers back over Paisley before running my hand over her forehead taking her hair with it. She has the cutest little snore, it’s more of a breathe but it’s still adorable. I go over to the window and stare out of it. It’s not a view I’d choose to remember but it’s not one Cheryl could ever forget. The street lights have just gone off. The whole street is lifeless. Every window from every house is pitch black apart from one over the road pouring out a yellow light. I find myself wondering who lives there and why they are up so early. They might look over here see me stood here and wonder the exact same thing. I pull my hair up and find my long cardigan somewhere under the large amount of clothes on the carpeted floor. I pull it on and head downstairs but not before I give my two girls in the bed a smile that they can’t see.
“Sorry did I wake you?” My eyes adjust to the newly found light in the kitchen and I see Joan stood by the open back door with a cigarette sat limply between her thin fingers.
“No of course not. I was practically falling off the bed with those two up there hogging all the space” She chuckles and turns back around to stare into the darkness. She’s wearing a pair of childish pyjamas. Not the kind Cheryl wears. These are long. The top is pink and the pants are a matching colour with little white sheep dancing up and down the legs. I shouldn’t laugh but I do quietly despite pressing my lips together.
“The next time you all come I’ll have another bed for Pai, she can’t be squashed between you two lazy lumps can she?”
“Lazy? Eh!” I laugh and she turns around with a smirk.
“But really. I’m going to have to get her a sofa bed or something to put in the room. I hope I see more of you all. Its murder having Paisley so far away. Even though through blood she isn’t, she’s me granddaughter and I want to see her grow up. Every time I see her I find that she’s so much more grown up and I’ve missed out on so much, skype calls just aren’t enough”
“I know, She misses you too and don’t we all know it! We’re going to have to make more of an effort to come down and you know you’re always welcome at ours. You and Garry”
“I know ,Pet. It’s just hard isn’t it? You have family there, I have family here. It’s nothing less than a shit situation” I laugh at her foul language and the wooden door behind me creaks. Cheryl comes shuffling through. She’s put on a large navy sweatshirt that her hands are hidden in. She’s squinting her eyes trying to see in the light and when I came down I did just the same thing.
