Four To The End (prev Shifting Lines) - Book One (Marauder Era)

Chapter Forty - The Most Gryffindor

Spinnet wasn't in the dorm the next morning, and was late coming to breakfast... as was McGonagall. They came into the Great Hall roughly around the same time. Remus stared at his breakfast, having a feeling he knew why. He spent Charms distracted, and Herbology feeling nauseous, poking seeds down into the dirt, barely aware of Sirius and James goofing off, or of Peter constantly whispering to Remus, 'am I doing this right?'. He drifted after the three of them back to the castle for lunch, already prepared for McGonagall who was, indeed, waiting for him outside the Great Hall.

Sirius, James, and Peter hesitated when McGonagall said she needed to speak to Remus, then they gave him encouraging looks. Remus silently followed McGonagall into the side chamber near the Great Hall. He wasn't sure what was going to happen except most likely expulsion. He was causing problems with the other students, waking them up, there was no way he should be staying. I hope I get to at least say goodbye to my friends, he thought as he sat down, setting his bag in his lap so he had something to mess with nervously, fingers tugging at the strap as he waited.

"Mr. Spinnet came to me this morning," McGonagall started gently. Remus just stared down at his bag. "He says you've been having nightmares often which cause you to... scream...? And wake the dorm up?"

"Yes, P-Professor," he mumbled, hunching over even more.

"Do you sleep walk?"

The question took him entirely by surprise and he just stared at her with an open mouth. "Uh? No? I... d--don't think so, at least."

McGonagall sat down, removing her large pointy hat, setting it beside her. "What kind of nightmares are you having? Do you remember them?"

"Usually... they're--th--they're connected to... to..." He waved his hand rather helplessly as a way of indicating his lycanthropy. "S-sometimes I'm attacking someone, or--or I'm b-being killed." His nose began itching though he managed to stop the tears before they started. He felt humiliated to be mentioning this, telling someone, baring his evil side; it was the same feeling he got when Pomfrey saw the bloody, gory mess, and now when Ms. Fawley saw his full moon memories.

"I see. Are you still asleep when you begin screaming?"

"Sometimes. Sort of? I--I mean, I wake up screaming. So... I s--suppose so?"

"Did you have them at home?"

Remus began twisting the strap of his bag nervously. "Y--yes. I--I'm s-s-sorry I guess we d-d-d-didn't think to mention--"

McGonagall held up her hand swiftly. "No, that's not what I meant. I just wanted to know whether it was a recent development or not. I wanted to make sure it didn't start when you came to Hogwarts."

"No, ma'am. I--I'm sorry about this... I am, I didn't... I don't..."

McGonagall's eyes softened at how fearful he sounded. "You're not in trouble, if that's what you think. You cannot control your nightmares."

"Th... that's what Sirius keeps telling Spinnet," Remus mumbled.

"He's right. Now, just so I know which options we have before us to help things, you don't know beforehand when you will have nightmares, correct? They're not... the same nights?"

"No. Usually they happen after--the full moon but--not always.... Sometimes they're t-triggered by things said but I never know what will," Remus said, words tumbling out. "Like one night I had a really bad one when--when Sirius told me he wasn't going to bite, you know, joking about me being so, er, terrified, and anyway that night I had--had one of... me... you know... b... biting..."