CHAPTER 44

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Alexander's POV

We both held each other's eyes. Staring intensely. She was contemplating her emotions. I know it. I can feel the surge of her ponder towards the pup.

And I can sense that she was thinking something not good that I should be worried about.

Before she could think something more about the pup, I would tell it to her now.

There is still a lot more that I wanted to tell her, that she really needs to know but I can't let it all out at once. I wanted to tell her all once she is comfortable here now when I know that she's going to be alright taking all the changes in her.

But I have no choice now, she needs to know more about all that's happening.

My wolf was itching to go all out and go to our mate. He wants to claim her fully. But I rein him in, telling him that our mate needs a little bit of time from the mate thing. That he needs to be more patient.

And so am I.

Gazing into her eyes, feeling the emotions going through inside her, I started to take a step towards her but then she shrugged her shoulders at me.

Looking at me questioningly.

"It's not what you think it is" I calmly tell her "Let me explain it to you."

I continue to walk up to her but she held her hands infront of her, halting me.

"I don't know. I really don't know right now" her voice cracked as she spoke. She's on the verge of crying, I can feel it but I know she's trying her best not to cry.

"Just listen to me, please love. I just need you to listen to me."

Silence filled us. Neither of us didn't say anything. I stayed silent for a moment waiting for her response. I just kept my eyes on her.

Sensing that she was arguing with her wolf then she closed her eyes before gazing up to me.

"Okay" she nod her head rubbing her hands in her arms up and down "I'll listen if that's what you want" Her eyes stare at me looking scared and hurt.

My eyes narrowed a bit. I am not angry at her but at myself. I don't want to be the reason for her pains and left her disoriented. Having a battle against her wolf.

"He's not my pup if that's what you think" I spilled out running my hand through my hair "He's Malka's son."

She had a look on her face telling me that she don't believe what I had just said. I can see the uncertainty in her eyes but deep inside her, I can feel her wolf and her heart believing in me.

"The pup was asking for her mother which is Denise and I had already told you that she was Malka's mate. I had already told you about them but I haven't mentioned their son."

I breathed out heavily before continuing.

"I wanted to tell it to you but I have never got the chance and I don't know how will I tell it to you" I look deeply into her "I just don't want you to get drown in all of this. To feel guilty and be responsible for all of this just like what I am feeling right now."

I feel bad about the pup. Knowing that I had killed his father while his mother is locked up in the dungeon.

"He's still a pup. He needs someone to look up to and someone who would take care of him. And that's what I still need to figure out."

"Do you believe me?" My eyes never leave her "I need you to believe me, mate."

I am desperately begging her to believe in me. That the pup isn't mine.

Slowly, she nod her head and sighed.

I felt her relief through our bond. She released a sigh of relief and I feel at ease a little bit knowing that she believe me.

"There's still more you need to know, mate" I paused for a moment, sizing up her reaction.

When I don't get any response from her I carried on.

"But first, maybe we should take a sit before I tell everything to you."

I am determined now to tell everything to her. All that happened since the day he had lost consciousness after what she did to Ace and the situation about her pack.

And mostly, her being the Luna Queen of the werewolf.

She shook her head at me and spoke "I'm fine here. And besides, I don't trust myself, especially my wolf whenever I get closer to you. Whatever it is that I need to know, just tell me." She said abruptly, then averted her eyes not wanting for me to see the blush on her face at what she just said.

I'm amused at her knowing that I have that effect on her despite our tight conversation right now.

"I just need to tell everything to you now. I just don't want it to be the reason to ruin us."

I can see in her that she was listening intently to me and so I keep on.

"I will start with your pack and what happen to your uncle Ace."

I started to tell her what she did to Ace.

Shocked filled her eyes. Her heartbeat quickens. Her sudden emotions filled me. Confusion and questions swirled inside her but then she felt guilty and mad at herself.

This is why I was really hesitant to tell it to her for I know she will feel terrible about what she did. I can sense that she's not used to hurting someone instead she was the one who was hurting not the other way around.

I can feel her wolf emerging but she was keeping her inside, having a dispute with her wolf.

Unsure if I will continue to speak more or not but then she nudge her head at me urging me to continue.

And so I did.

I told her that she needs to visit her pack as soon as possible to settle some things there and I wanted the pack to know what she is to them.

But I am not planning for her to be their Alpha. I just wanted her to go back there, settle the things she had been through at her pack, and for her to move on.

Her eyes now were full of uncertainty and pain. I can feel her wolf's anger towards their pack and I can't blame her wolf.

Out of all the mean things her pack had done to her, I will make them all suffer. It's the last thing I would do if she wishes to.

But no, I need to throw my anger out, for her to be at peace and ease towards the wolves.

I need her anger and her suffering to come to an end and settle the pain she has inside her heart with her pack.

For I wanted her to be fully moved on from her past with no pain in her heart or sadness. I wanted her to trust in herself before I formally proclaim her as my mate and the Luna Queen of werewolves.

There is still a lot going on inside her. Maybe going back to her pack where it all had started can help to put an end to all of her pains.

And for her to be able to start a new beginning with me.

Doubt filled her eyes. She kept her hands on her arms. I can feel she was holding back to say what she felt after I told her that she needs to visit her pack soon.

And so I told her that I will be there with her. I will never leave her side when she visits her pack. I will make sure that every wolf in that pack would bow down to her and if someone would dare to even question her or hurt her, I will not hesitate to end their lives!

Now, I can't stop myself to hold her. Even if she didn't want to be close to me though I know her heart doesn't feel exactly like that.

I took a step towards her and quickly hold her, pulling her head to my chest.

And we stayed just like that. Standing in the middle of the room, just holding her close to mine.



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