Chapter Twelve - No proper goodbye

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Mila's P.O.V

When I woke I knew it was still earlier, the sun was only beginning to rise. Jamie's arm was wrapped around my body, his front to my back...cuddling in close to me. Yes last night was amazing...incredible we work well together sexually but it can't happen again. I sighed to myself, deciding it was best I left before he woke up. I know that was a bitch move but it was for the best. The same thoughts still running through my mind, he paid for me. I should have left last night as soon as I seen him but I couldn't. I should have left his house when I was going to but again I couldn't...I wanted him, needed him. I slowly slipped myself out of his arms, hoping not to wake him up. I was hoping I could get out of the house before he woke up.

I slipped myself out of his bed, tip-toeing around the house looking for my clothes, eventually finding them. I slipped my clothes on, looking around for a notepad or something. I never wanted to just leave without a word. I finally found paper and a pen and wrote him a note.

Jamie,

I am sorry I was not here when you woke up, I thought it was best I left before you did. Yes

Last night was amazing...you are amazing but it is best it never happens again, best that we

Don't see each other again. I wish it never had to be this way but the way we met will always Be playing on my mind and you deserve more than That. I think it is best we don't even text or call either. If we met another way things could be different, we never though and I am sorry about that. I was glad we had a chance to meet and I hope you find everything you are looking for and be happy. You never know maybe one day we will run into each other again.

Sorry it has to be this way,

Mila xox

I hated myself for leaving this way but it was for the best. I placed the note on the kitchen counter, hoping he would see it there. I let out one last, long sigh and headed out, going down the street a little to call a can in case he wakes up and comes after me. I really hope he understands what I am saying and respects what I am asking of him. Why did I have to meet him this way? It has been a long time since I have trusted a man in the way I do Jamie, been myself around and felt comfortable enough to have sex with. I wish things could be different, I really but nothing is going to change the way we met. I felt guilty leaving this way, it would have been too hard if I had to say goodbye to him face to face, the look on his face would hurt too much and if he tried hard enough he would probably have been able to convince me to say and that is not what either of us needed.

It was only six A.M. when I arrived home. I slipped into a quick shower before pulling my sweats on and climbed back into bed, needing more sleep. I couldn't sleep though, too much on my mind, spending my time tossing and turning in my bed, flashbacks from the last night running through my head. He was amazing, no matter has ever made me feel the way he did last night...no man has ever pleasured me the way he did. He was different from other men, there was something special about him and any woman will be lucky to have him, shame that can't be me.

I finally managed to drift off...drifting off to the thoughts of Jamie running through my head.

****

I got woken up with my phone ringing. I reached grabbing it, answering it without looking at because I was still half asleep.

"Hello." I said tiredly

"You left? You never even said goodbye Mila." I hear Jamie's sad voice say on the other end of the phone

Crap! I should have checked who it was before I answered it.

"Jamie I am sorry, I had to...it was for the best." I said softly

"For who...you?" He said sounding slightly annoyed

"For both of us Jamie. I have told you why this could never work." I said sitting up, sighing and running my hands through my hair

"No I think that is just an excuse, the truth is you are scared of how I make you feel, scared of how we connect." He said softly

"Jamie I am not getting into this again with you." I sighed

"Is this what you really want? To never see me again...too never hear from me again?" he said

"It is not what I want...it is what needs to be done Jamie. Why can't you understand where I am coming from? You Paid for me Jamie...paid and I can't be with someone who done that and I know that is not your fault but this is the way it has to be OK?" I said feeling myself tear up as I did.

He fell silent on the other end and I knew he was upset and probably angry. I knew last night would make things worse for both of us. That doesn't mean I regret it, I would rather have one night with him than no nights at all.

"If that is what you want...I am sorry it has to be this way." He said "You know where I am if you change your mind beautiful." He added then the line went dead, he hung up.

I groaned annoyed and irritated, tossing my phone aside and curled back up in my bed and before I knew it I was crying. I don't understand why I am crying, we have only spent a few days together, I shouldn't be this upset over it all. Though being this upset told me something, he meant to more to me already than what I would like to admit. The connection...the chemistry between us was unmistakable but that doesn't mean this is meant to be. Well that is what I am going to keep telling myself until I forget about him. Only if I knew it was not going to be that easy. 

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