CHAPTER 3 - LOOKING BACK AND FORWARD

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Chapter 3 – Looking Back and Forward

Khushi's POV

I sipped my tea as I watched the worried faces of my family members in front of me.It had been four days since our divorce was official, and so me and aadi had decided that it would be wiser if we visited our families and talked to them in person about everything. So I had come in to Lucknow this morning and Aadi was in Dehradun, and we would be heading back to Delhi tomorrow.

Baba had this super worried look on his face and Maa was gesturing to Payal to start the conversation, and Payal my little sister, who was not so little anymore ,a mother to a 3 year old Krish, sat in front of me with tears in her eyes.

They loved me.They truly did love me, I took a second to silently thank god again for this blessing, and I sipped another sip of my pipping hot tea as I spoke – "Maa, I missed the flavour of your tea, you know I love it...and so nice of Rahul jiju to take the kids out to the play area all by himself, Payal,wev trained our partners well, they are dotting father's....", I finished with a wink.

My mother finally got up from her spot and pulled me into a hug , as she asked , examining my smile and my calmness – " are you really ok?? Or is this just a façade for all of us??so that we don't worry about you...??"

I hugged her back, it always felt very good to spend some moments in her arms, no matter how old I was, her hug had that magic power, it made me feel like that everything would always be ok, and so I basked in the moment and then pulled back seconds later as I looked into her eyes – " do you see any tears in my eyes Maa??"

She examined my face – " exactly my point, you are so calm, whereas..."

I sighed as I looked at the three of them – "whereas, I should be crying my lungs out, pitying myself over the fact that my husband fell in love with another??",and I paused as I looked at them – " I know that's whats expected maybe, but its wrong, this is what is so wrong, no one, just no one has the right to judge a relationship just because its hit a dead end in certain aspects Maa, whats between two people is between two of them, no one but they are the best ones to judge and decide their future, no one has the right to suggest or expect anything otherwise...",and I paused as I saw my baba come and sit next to me as he held my hand silently and he whispered – " Garima, lets just hear Khushi out , please??"

Maa nodded and I thanked Baba silently and continued – " its not that Aadi is vanishing out of our lives Maa, he loves atharv and myra more than anything in the world, and he loves me too, but not just in that way, and I understand, because its very much the same for me, I love aadi, and I always will, he is my best friend, he always will be, but its better for the kids if me and him disconnect from a husband and wife status and fall back into our best friends equation, we will be able to raise them happily, Maa, or rather you suggest that I expect him to be tied in this relation knowing where his heart lies only because of the children, and he continues to suffocate himself in the process, he was doing that wasn't he?? And where was that getting us??"

Payal sighed – " I know what you mean, but atleast he was trying, maybe this emotion for Ahana was a passing phase and it would have vanished with time...you didn't have to suggest him to explore his emotions in the first place Khushi, you can be so naïve sometimes..."

I looked at my sister, the worry on her face moved me,and I spoke stating the truth – " I know you love me, and I know where is this coming from, but because you love me, deep down I also know that you know that its not true that I asked him to explore his emotions because of me being too clueless, simple and naïve...it takes a lot of courage to be gracious about an adversity in Life,and you all know, that's just how I function, I have always accepted with whatever Life has thrown on my plate graciously, its not because I cant fight it, its because I don't want to, it was my choice to help aadi in this situation payal, its because I could see what he was going through, he was fighting every bit of his emotion and was continuing to smile in front of us as if nothing was wrong...and you have no idea what it felt to hear Myra ask him one day – daddy why doesn't your smile reach your eyes anymore, please don't work too much..., and that was the day I knew I had to talk to him, and get whatever that was bothering him out of his system...", and I took a small pause as I relived that memory in my head – " I will not lie about this, I was sort of expecting it Maa, I really was, you could say that I could see this coming my way for a while now..."

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