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NINETEEN SEVENTY-NINE
Abhaya
Something had caught my eye.
It was Michael and his ex Penny Tinker.
The two of them were sitting inside a local ice cream parlor, sharing a banana split. They had been talking for a few hours, and I had been watching the entire time. Maybe I seemed like a stalker but seeing those two together was merely an accident. As I stormed out of my home and drove off to the unknown, I found myself wandering around the city.
I didn't have a particular destination to go to but anywhere was better than being at home.
I had to clear my mind from all the bad juju my mother put inside of my head.
She didn't didn't know that mentally, I was somewhat weak and highly paranoid regarding Michael. She triggered me significantly, and whether it was for the greater good. My healing wounds had been ripped open once again, leading my thoughts back into the what if's about Michael. I haven't had a What-if moment since I've been back in town, which was a month. Everything between Michael and I had been great thus far. I didn't feel paranoid until now.
Am I making the right choice?
I continuously thought until my head began to hurt.
I was driving recklessly as my eyes continued to produce a sufficient amount of liquid to make it hard for me to see. The tears were like an infinite river. I knew I had to pull over on the side of the street when the tears started to blind me from seeing the lights and big red stop signs. I took a breather and told myself that my decision was the right one.
Michael and I were going to work because we loved each other. That's all there was to it.
After the self-affirmation, my doubts dwindled, and my mother's words became the last thing on my mind. I was back cruising against the streets. I had the top-down and allowed the wind to dry my eyes, leaving translucent streaks of dried tears onto the sides of my cheeks. The breeze felt nice. It was around six, and the sun was setting. It wasn't too hot. The summers breeze was cooling enough for me to not break out in a sweat.
I felt serene now. My worries were gone.
The doubt was gone until I spotted my boyfriend with his ex; Sharing a banana split and laughing together. Fucking laughing and smiling.
