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NINETEEN SEVENTY-NINE
Michael
Ricky was right; I am selfish.
I'm an asshole, manipulative, and I do not deserve to be with Abhaya but she mines, and I'm not letting her go. Never in my life have I felt the way that I feel with Abhaya. I am loved. No matter how imperfect I am, she loves me.
Abhaya always had my back since we were kids. Now that we're young adults, she has my heart and spirit that I feel is very much connected to hers. Soon enough, she will have my child. It's a matter of time.
Maybe what I've done was wrong, but what else can you do when your back is against the wall.
When the girl you love with all of your heart is falling for another man, what the hell can you do besides become irrational? I was crouched down beside Abhaya, rubbing her back in small circles as she leaned her head over against the toilet to puke. She was sick from all the alcohol she had consumed last night. For some reason, as Abhaya was puking her guts out, I was pretending like she was throwing up because of pregnancy symptoms and not shots.
I guess you could say I was preparing myself for our future. A future where everything will be how it's supposed to be. She and I. One kid. This is all we needed, and we were almost there.
"Are you alright, sweetheart?" I asked.
Abhaya leaned her head up and slowly nodded."I am not drinking for such a long time!" She said with a slight laugh. It was only a matter of time, and I was more than ready. I was prepared to leave Indiana.
I was ready to leave my secrets of Lily behind. I was prepared to leave the one and only Ricky behind so he couldn't snatch Abhaya away from my grasp so easily.
I was ready to leave everything and take Abhaya with me. We would go and start over and it was only a matter of time.
—
"How do you feel?" I asked Abhaya while slurping on a chocolate milkshake. We were at this burger joint downtown. I read somewhere that greasy foods helped with hangovers, so it made sense to bring her here.
Abhaya dipped some fresh fries into a small cup of ketchup and ate them. "I felt better!" She said.
I sighed to myself as my mind wandered back to last night's events. Her calling me Ricky was making my fucking skin crawl now. I was damn near on the verge of hating Ricky. He was making my life too fucking complicated. All I want is to be happy and in love with Abhaya, but for some reason, we keep having these damn setbacks. It's was always something.
