Chapter 34

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My mind went into a spiral just thinking about being human again. So many great things have happened since turning into a wolf. My previous life as a human was so shitty, would I want that life again? I can't stop mentally weighing the pros and cons. This is bigger than just Emily and me being together- it's about changing my entire DNA. I felt bad about keeping her on the phone for so long. What felt like hours was only a minute. 

"I know this is a lot to put on you, Isaac. But this could give you freedom from Beacon Hills- we could travel the world together, go places that you've always talked about going to." She told me. The more and more she talked about it, she seemed pretty persistent. "You would be able to do so much more."

I didn't know what to tell her because I honestly didn't know what to tell her. "Why are you forcing this on me, Emily? Just because I said all of those things doesn't mean I actually want to do it." I said. "You know how important my pack is to me, even if I do feel trapped by them. I belong here, this tiny isolated town. My pack is the only family I will ever have, don't you understand that, Emily?!" I said, almost shouting; I could feel the rage building up inside me, like a fire waiting to be started. "You always talk about how fucked up your family is, when you don't even think about mine. You're like, this rich pretty Barbie doll trying to build her Ken doll." I told her with a scoff. 

I could hear her sniffle from the other end of the phone. "It's late, Isaac. I just want you to think about it- the cure, I mean."

"Well, I just told you what I think of it," I told her. "I think that it's stupid." 

"You know what else it would help you with? Your anger issues. I put up with it all the time, even when you think that they're gone. Goodnight, Isaac." She told me as she hung up. 

I put my phone down and stared at the ceiling when I saw a dim light come from the hallway. Without even looking, I knew it was Stiles. I could smell the puke and alcohol from his shirt. 

He sat down next to me. "Emily problems?" He asked. 

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not going to take relationship advice from someone who has never been in a relationship, Stiles," I told him. "Also you smell terrible."

"Ouch, well that hurt. The whole 'has never been in a relationship' thing. I know I smell terrible, you don't need to tell me twice." He said. 

"Do you think I still have anger issues?" I asked him, bluntly. 

"I thought you didn't want my advice?"

I sighed. "Well, it is more about me, not Emily and me stuff." I tried to explain. "She thinks I still have anger issues."

"I think I should tiptoe around this topic because it seems a bit sensitive and I do not want you to bite me," Stiles said. "But yeah, I guess you kind of... do? Is that the right answer? Don't be mad at me, at least let me get laid before you kill me." He said with his eyes closed. 

"Ugh, I'm not going to kill you, jeez. It was just a question." 

He looked at me, a bit curious. "So I'm assuming you and Emily got into a fight and she said you had anger issues." 

"Yes." 

"I mean, yeah, sometimes you have them. I just think it's your inner wolf trying to get out though. Totally normal I think." 

I thought for a bit. "So, if I was human, do you think they would go away?"

"Well, not really, but you'd probably be able to control it. Like, if I had anger issues, I'd see a therapist or something." He told me. "But if you haven't noticed, you're a wolf, Isaac. Things are a lot different for you." 

"Good to know." Maybe Emily is right about this whole anger thing.

Stiles looked at me with that weird curious face he makes whenever he knows something is up. "Why are you asking about this? Not the anger issue thing, but why did you ask about being human?" The question I was hoping he would avoid. He is the last person I want to know about this. "And don't be dishonest." He added. 

A little white lie wouldn't hurt. "I was just fantasizing about what being human again would feel like again, I guess." 

"Huh. I always thought you loved being a wolf." Stiles told me. "I feel like I should be the one to say it because I know no one else will, but, I would enjoy your time with Emily while it lasts. She and I aren't like you and Scott. We eventually have to figure out our lives, like, go to college and find jobs when we're older. That means moving away. But if there was some miracle way to turn you human, and you really love Emily, I would personally take it if I was in your place. I don't want to upset you or anything, but you gotta be realistic, Isaac, your relationship is living on borrowed time." He said with a pat on the back. "Anyway, I gotta go back to sleep or I will have the worst hangover tomorrow morning." 

Great. Back to square one. 

Without Emily, I'm a nobody here and she makes me feel alive like nobody else has. 

i'm really sorry about what i said earlier ems. i didnt actually mean some of that stuff. can we talk it out tmr?  I texted her. 

I grabbed a piece of paper from my backpack and started a pros and cons list. 


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