Sanders sides Oneshots (X reader)

Patton - can we reset?

Warning: this oneshot contains the following triggering things:

-suicide

-blood

If you are triggered by these subjects please do not read
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God only knows why I exist. I look around at all these sides. Then in a mirror, to the pointless reflection of me. "(Y/n)? You feeling okay?" One would ask. "Are you well?" Would be another's condecending question. I was fine. Put on a mask and roll with the punches.

Deceit was first to notice how I'd changed. The others didn't believe him. Not even my own boyfriend. "(Y/n) a word?" The snake would ask. Pale started to think I was a bad guy, cheating on my own boyfriend. "They don't believe me. I can't believe it. They're so goddamn stupid." He hissed in annoyance. I was quick to defend my lover. Unlike him to me.

It had been seven weeks, the Duke noticed my change too. Saw how I wasn't so cheerful. Saw my secret agony like Deceit. But the others still hadn't noticed. Even when they told. The others calling them liars. Whenever the snake was around pale would look at my boyfriend in pity. Feeling bad about the unreal belief in his mind. "Fuck me rough, how haven't they realised what's happening to you? They're fucking morons." Yet again, I'd defend my lover.

Nerd noticed next. He spoke to me privately. I wasn't me anymore. "You know we can and will help you in anyway we possibly can. Whatever you're suffering through we're here for you." He mentioned. I refused that utopian idea. Nothing could help. It was better to be alone. To be alone with your thoughts that surrounded by mindless chatter. He saw me grow quieter and quieter.

After him was prince, who realized Deceit wasn't lying. He felt so worried but didn't want to worry the others about me. I was practically a scarred little twig. He'd found me in the imagination. All alone, crying. Singing away my pain like rain washing blood from a sidewalk. "I might not be able to fix you, but I'm always here to talk to. Never forget that." He noticed something else too. That pale was with my boyfriend more and more. He didn't know how to tell me. Like how you wouldn't know how to fix a broken mirror.

Walking around in the darkness of my room I kept silent. I walked around, alone with my thoughts. I knew that pale and my boyfriend were closer and closer as the days went on. I just... Didn't want him to think it was his fault. I didn't want to make him cry. To... To make him feel as bad as I did.

Everyone knew apart from those two. They dropped hints about it but those two were oblivious. They hated me for being the 'bad one'. The one that was so pointless. Even host knew what was wrong, but those two didn't.  My boyfriend was so oblivious he believed a wrong suspicion. More than he would believe me. Then the insults... Pale and his dagger sharp insults. I wanted to be sick. But I rolled with the punches. All the bad bruising, black eye causing punches.

Five weeks later I found out... The hard way. I was walking past his room and the door was open. Like they were inviting everyone to see. Patton and pale... Making out with smug grins plastered on their faces... Thinking they were only getting revenge. I threw up... So much blood. Thick, oozing, ink like blood. That stopped them. They looked as I cried out a tempest of agony. That's when it hit them. But it was too late.

I ran...

So far. . .

As far as I could.  .  .

I looked at the mirror and at my pointless reflection.. and it broke. Like I barely touched it, yet my knuckles were bloody. Like my scarred wrists. I took a large fragment. It was sharp as a dagger.

I ran further
.
.
.

Like blood from a body
.

.

.

I could hear the shouts of my own brain. Of my heart. Crying in agony at that image burned into my head.

I got to the highest point of the imagination.

"Shi... Nita. .  Gari. .  ?" I croaked. My voice broken and mangled.

.
.
.

I just wanted to reset

.
.
.

So I forced the dagger into my stomach twice, slowly driving it into my heart before falling forward.

.

.

.

And... I was dead.