No one ended up completing the all-nighter. ARMY said we could sleep. We barely saw it, for all the hate comments about me was drowning the actual nice ones. I didn't want to cry after we ended it. No I tried to stay strong, but you try having millions of people tell you you are worthless. It's not easy.
"Why?" I cried into Taehyung as he hugged me, shushing me and rubbing my back. "I've done so much for them!"
"They don't accept change very well." Taehyung reassured, his arms tightening around me. "They don't want a girl around us, if it isn't them."
(I'm not saying this is how us ARMY's would react if something like this would ever happen, I really hope we don't react like this. But for the sake of the book, ARMY isn't going to be the nicest.)
"I just-"
"You want to be accepted." Yoongi offered me a smile, sitting on the edge of the couch. "I understand." His parents didn't approve of his dream...
"We'll help you." Namjoon reassured and reached for my hand, giving me a squeeze of reassurance. No, this is all wrong. This isn't right. I'm supposed to be the ones helping them, I'm only supposed to be their blogger, not their broken, their broken, object.
"I-I have to go." I pushed Taehyung's arms off of me, letting go of Namjoon's hand, everyone's faces dropping. "I'm sorry, I should've..." I grabbed my bag and made my way to the door. "I should've been stronger."
----
"Seoul, maybe I should quit." I sat in front of my dog, my head resting on my knees. "I'm just causing them extra stress while I'm supposed to help them.
There was a knock at the door.
I just knew deep inside it was one of them, or several, or all. And there was no way I'm letting them in.
"Minjee?" Namjoon knocked again, his voice small and knock gentle. "Can I come in please?"
I put my head in my hands, biting on my fingers. God why am I so scared? My nose touched my father's ring...Tommy's ring. A sob escaped my lips without a warning.
"Min," Namjoon's voice was more urgent. "Please, I can give you a hug. We don't have to talk." A stood up and ran to the door, flinging myself into Namjoon's arms, letting my emotions go. Namjoon did as he said, he only hugged me, his fingers slowly tracing up and down my back, a small, comforting act.
"I miss him."
"It's so hard to lose a family member." Namjoon nodded against my shoulder, his fingers halting. "I know it's harsh, but it'll only make you stronger. You are so strong already, but, the world wants to see you stronger." I frowned, hating his words, but didn't interrupt. It was nice to have someone to talk to me. "Tommy is at peace. He probably didn't go as he wanted, but he ended where he wanted; the forest. And you made his wish come true. You were his important person, we all have one. Your's didn't have to be Tommy, but maybe it was. You'll have to look deep down inside to find that. That important person will always be there for you, help you make difficult decisions, carry out your dreams when you can't."
"Wow." I mumbled and let go of our hug. "You should write a book."
Namjoon chuckled. "I'm working on it." I stepped aside and allowed him to walk in, heat rising in my cheeks at how messy my room was already.
"Sorry about the mess. I just threw my stuff in-"
"It's wonderful, don't worry about it." Namjoon turned around and smiled reassuringly. God he's so calm and collected. He makes me feel safe, not judged. I shouldn't be afraid of being myself around him. No, I'm just afraid of being judged, that's all. "It'll all be alright."
-----
"I'm what?!" I shouted as Sejin smiled nervously. The boys were in shock as well.
"You're being interviewed."
"I'm a blogger!"
"The first K-Pop one." Sejin tried to defend, but my heart beat was beating too fast.
"No I can't do it, I'm, no I won't." I shook my head, swallowing and crossing my arms as a barrier between Sejin and I. If I believe enough, maybe he'll go away.
"Minjee, I'm sorry but you have to." Sejin's lip formed a tight line as his eyes grew sadder at me.
"Sejin!" Hoseok wrapped an arm around me and smiled up at the manager. "Minjee and I are both stupid!" I slapped his arm, frowning at him. He dismissed me.
"Extremely." Yoongi stuck his tongue out at me as I flipped him off, my heart beat slowly slowing down as Hoseok distracted me by his words.
"Soooo, two negative equal a positive! That's why I should join Minjee in her interview!" Hoseok hugged me, a huge smile on his face. I begged Sejin with my eyes, praying that he would say yes.
"That's multiplying." Namjoon jumped in, adjusting his glasses. "We are adding you two. Two negative equal a bigger negative."
"No one asked!" Hoseok swatted at Namjoon, but was short about half a foot.
"Sejin please. It'll make it a lot easier for me." I begged, ignoring the boys arguing in beside us, Hoseok still clutching to me. He sighed, but I knew I had convinced him.
"Fine."
"Yes!" Jungkook high-fived me. "You can become a meme!" He jumped up and down excitedly. "We're all memes!"
"I call dressing her!" Taehyung shouted and grabbed me by my hand and dragged me into the dressing room.
"I got make-up!" Jimin ran after us.
"Hair!" Jin wasted no time pushing past Yoongi and Namjoon to join us in the room, Taehyung almost finished picking out already.
"You all have one hour!" Sejin called out from where we were. "One and a half before we are live!"
Oh boy
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(i went to florida) (yes that's zac efron on the pillow case) (dm me if you want my snap)
———————
End Of 45
did you know that depressed people listen to music more. or something like that. y'all my screen time is ten hours a day because of my music.
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