And The Words We Couldn't Speak

19

"Oh my god, "Frankie said, smiling goofily. I just nodded, smiling back at him. "When did this happen? Am I the first one to know?"

"It was just this morning, and yes, Frankie, you are the first, with the exception of Gee and Nancy, "I said, smiling at him. He shook his head and smiled at me.

"And just to think, you were just some weird little girl who couldn't talk. By the way, when is your birthday? It just occurred to me that this marriage could be illegal..."He said suspiciously.

"It's fine... My birthday is February 5th, and I'll be 18. Thanks for your concern though, "I said, smiling at him. He seemed to calm down a bit.

"It's just a little over a month till your birthday then, "he said slowly. "Okay, new subject. When's the wedding?"

"We don't know yet. We have to see what the schedule is like..."I explained slowly.
"Oh, forget the schedule! Marriage is so much more important!" He exclaimed.

"I agree completely, "Mikey said, putting an arm around me. I smiled at him. Frankie smiled at him and then mentioned something about having to go get Bob. He left the room and Mikey just stared at me for a minute.

"Wow, he's... He's something else, "I laughed quietly.

"Why didn't you tell me when your birthday was?" He asked concernedly. I just shrugged and he bit his lip. "Well, I just asked Phil what the schedule was like after the New Year and he said that we'd be off until the 7th of January. After that, we're not off again until May... So, I was thinking... If you didn't mind, maybe we could have the wedding around the 3rd..."I blinked at him, but then smiled. He had put so much thought into this.

"If that's what you want, then that's fine with me, "I whispered, smiling at him. He sat next to me, and held my hands.

"Baby, listen, if this is going too fast..."He started but I just shook my head. He stopped me. "If it is, you would let me know, wouldn't you? You know I love you and I respect you... I don't want you to feel like you have to do this..."

"I don't feel like I have to. You are the one for me, Mikey, "I smiled. "You are the only one I want. I love you." He smiled and kissed me softly. I put my arms around his neck, but after a few minutes, someone coughed. We both jumped and turned to see a grossed out Gerard.

"Please, a little discretion, "he hissed. I raised a brow but chose not to say anything.

"Well, babe, I gotta go get Ray. Will you be okay for a little while?" He asked, glaring at Gerard for ruining the moment.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Just be safe. I love you, "I said, kissing him again.

"I love you too, "he said, before running out the front door. Gerard was pouring a glass of orange juice. I cleared my throat.

"What the hell was that, Gee?" I asked. I was both concerned and annoyed.

"I don't know, "he sighed. "I just... It's really hard..."

"What, "I scoffed. "You're so used to getting the girl that you can't stand that Mikey's happy for once?" He looked at me with hurt filled eyes.

"Is that what he told you?" He whispered to himself. "That's not it..."

"Then what is it?" I asked, now feeling a little bad about assuming.

"I just, I don't know... It's nothing, "he muttered as he stormed out of the room. As if by habit, I followed him up to his room. I closed the door behind me. He looked at me and sighed. I looked around his room and noted the different paintings and drawings that covered his walls. I noticed how different his room was from Mikey's. His wasn't as clean, and there were papers and books scattered everywhere. He sat on his bed, and closed his eyes. I picked up a small book that I'd often seen him writing in. I skimmed through random pages.
August 28th
Well, Mikey met this girl, and now, they are taking her with us. She apparently has nowhere else to go.

September 15th
I told her about that girl... She seems almost scared of me...

September 26th
I guess they are dating now... Mikey said they are...

September 30th
He took her to meet Mom...

November 13th
I started dreaming about her... No girl has ever made me feel like this...

December 25th
Well, I officially lost all hope... He proposed... She said yes... That really hurt. The bitch of it all is that I think Mikey knows that I'm in love with her... He's using this to get back at me for all of the girlfriends who wanted me... I would tell her, but I'm afraid that it'll fuck everything up... Why can't I love people who actually love me...? It really hurts that my baby brother is marrying the girl of my dreams, literally...

I closed the book and looked at him. He had his hands covering his face. I went and sat on his bed. He looked at me and sighed.

"I'm a fuck up. Did you know that?" He whispered. I lied down next to him and sighed.

"You are not a fuck up, Gee. You are a great guy, and I'm sure that you'll find someone..."I said in an attempt to reassure him. He looked over at me.

"Do you know how much it hurts seeing my baby brother marry the girl of my dreams before I even had the chance?" He choked. I wiped away the sudden tear.

"Look, I love you. You have been the best friend. But, I don't love you like that... Mikey is the one for me..."I said, fighting back my own tears. I knew that those words hurt him.

"Why can't there be room for two of us for you..."He laughed, wiping away another tear.

"It doesn't work like that, "I whispered. He nodded, knowing I was right. "I'm sorry. On the bright side, I think Frankie's back. He brought Bob." He laughed quietly.

"Bob is so fucking hyper on Christmas..."He laughed.

"Oh yeah, this is coming from the one who attacked my bed like a crack head this morning, "I laughed.

He poked me lightly, and I grabbed his hand and led him out of the room.