✓Crotchet || MCND Castle J

Chapter 10 - Approval

Minji's POV

I pace around my room as I think of what to do regarding my feelings for Seongjun. I like him. It feels so surreal now that I've said it out loud. I think back at the time when I told Jerry about it. He knew. Does that mean the others know about it, too? Am I being obvious? Did Seongjun found out already?

I grumbled in embarrassment as I dug my head on my pillow. No, I don't think they know. Jerry's my best friend and he catches on to my movements better than anyone else so it's only natural that he realizes something's up.

It has been a while since I liked someone that I don't know how to react anymore. Back in Canada, I liked this boy named Carl and it was so easy to get close to him because I had friends to help and cheer me on. I had the confidence to just straightly go to him and ask him to hang out that we were dating in no time.

But that didn't go too well. My relationship with Carl marked the end of my social life. I was too outgoing that I didn't know people laugh at me behind my back. They mock me for being too confident and sociable for an Asian. I didn't even experience any racial problems until then. I guess discrimination doesn't choose a place.

Carl pretended to like me and there was a bet going on the entire school on how long he can fool me. Even my so-called friends joined in and I didn't even realize that I was all alone.

I found out about it a few weeks later when I saw them collecting money. Yes, it got so serious that even money got involved. I made a scene in the cafeteria but everyone was just laughing. I was so embarrassed that all I want to do was to run away but I was stuck in place right in the middle of all those gagging people.

That was when Jerry came in. Jerry who was my childhood friend, but whom I completely ignored at the start of high school just because, pulled my hand and walked me out of the cafeteria, away from the people who used to be my friends. He helped me survive the remaining weeks of our senior year and he took care of me since then, just like when we were kids. And even though I had a social trauma, he still stayed.

That is why it's important for me that he give me his consent regarding Seongjun. I already owe him a lot and I can't be any more pain than I already am to him.

Back in my room, I reached for my phone on my bedside table and dialed Jerry's number. I can't ignore him forever. It's already been two days since we talked. It's a good thing I didn't have classes during those days because I would've been lost in the middle of the big city trying to figure out how transportation work.

It rang four times before he answered.

"About time!" He greeted. "I know you need a ride tomorrow."

"It's not that," I said. "Well, that too but I need to tell you something."

"Okay." He said. "Have you already realized that I'm right?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, you are," I admitted. "But I'm still not backing down."

"What? Are you sure?" I can hear a slight panic in his voice. "Minji, remember what I've said."

"I'm aware of that. I just thought it's time to get out of my shell already. I'm getting anxious doing nothing and isn't this a good sign?"

There was silence on his end. I know he's thinking hard and I wish he'd sense the change in me, the change I also feel.

"Are you really, really, really sure?" He asked. I nodded but even though he didn't see it, he continued, "There will be a lot of mess if you associate yourself with him."

"I know."

"But you still aren't backing down?"

"No," I answered firmly.

"What do you plan on doing, then?"

"I don't know," I answered, honestly. I haven't thought much of that yet. "I just want to hang out with him. Test the waters, maybe? Things I used to do. You know me."

"Well I don't, actually." He exclaimed but I can sense that he's smiling. "Can you do all that now?"

"The old Minji can."

"Then you better be the old Minji and don't run at me depressed at the end of the day."

"Thanks, Jerry," I said.

"You know I always got your back."