✓Crotchet || MCND Castle J

Chapter 37 - The Beginning

Minji's POV

Gathered waves of laughter from above echoed as each of the boys shouted different kinds of supposedly animal sounds following Seungmin's lead. Seongjun and I both listened as they all swift from fooling around to, eventually, becoming emotional.

"Let's become cool and promising artists!" Minjae yelled.

They each shouted their cheers for the success of their group. I glanced at Seongjun and saw him with a smile I've never seen before: fatherly, pride, happiness. And I knew then how much MCND means to him. They are the people he doesn't wanna lose, ever.

"MCND fighting!" Junhyuk finished and the others followed with simultaneous "fightings" before they all laugh.

"Aren't you gonna join them?" I asked Seongjun.

He fluidly laced his fingers through mine. "Alright." He faced the rising sun, took a deep breath, and shouted. "MCND fighting!" I was surprised at how loud it was that I'm almost sure the whole city heard him, but then he continued with, "Saranghae, Jung Minji!" and my eyes flew at him. There were cheers from the boys above. His gaze lingered for a few moments up front before turning back to me.

I was speechless. My mouth was ajar, wanting to say something but I couldn't find the right words. He laughed at me, maybe also to hide his embarrassment. He was flushing and I'm pretty sure I am too. I wanted to say it back, I wanted to say I love him too. But I caught my mouth saying, "We need to talk about this."

His face fell and I wish I didn't say it. I wish I could've just told him how I really feel. He squeezed my hand once, then let it go. He refused to meet my eyes but I kept staring at him, catching his with no success. "Okay." He sighed. "What do we need to talk about?"

I paused, wondering how to start. "I'm indecisive," I said. It's better to say my weaknesses first. "There will be a lot of times that I will be freaked out and I will run away to my own shell again. Then, you will be worried sick when you couldn't reach me." He finally looked at me. Tears pricked my eyes as he tried to understand what I'm saying. "You have this job of doing the things you love with the people you love more. It's too important to you and I can't bear the thought of ruining it because I will. At some point, I know I will. Even if I don't mean it. And I hope you realize how hard this will be if we go on."

A fat tear rolled down my cheek and he reached out to brush it away. "So you're saying we should stop before we could even start?"

It was hard for me to nod at that, but I did. "It's just too risky."

"Do you know what I think?" His lips twitched a little bit upwards. "When you ignored my calls, I never even thought that I'm losing you. Somehow, I know that you'll come around and come back." His smile turned a little bit mischievous "You're too into me to not want to come back."

That made me chuckle. But how could he joke in this situation?

"My point is," He continued. "With all the things that had happened: my dreams coming true, performing on stages, and everything going well, I still can't stop thinking about you. What you're doing, how you've been. I want to know everything about you."

I gulped nervously. He isn't getting it. "It's not just that. I'm scared of the things that might happen. We were just friends but it became so complicated already. Imagine what more there is to come."

He stepped closer to me, our faces just a few inches apart. I couldn't breathe. He stared into my eyes as he spoke, softer this time. "Hey, I would be lying if I say I'm not scared. But that wouldn't stop me. Because I'm more scared of not giving us a chance. I'm happy with you and the point of wanting to date you is exactly that. I want to spend time with you. To watch you roll your eyes at me when I say something stupid. To hear you laugh and see you smile. I want to feel my heart race whenever you're near and I want to know that I do the same to yours. I want to talk with you about everything for long hours. Because you see, that's what we do. And if you're scared, that's okay. Just let me be brave for the both of us."

My eyes quiver, but his remained calm. How is he able to say the perfect words when I was just about to give him up? It's exactly what I needed to hear, the final push I was waiting for. Instead of saying anything, I wrapped my arms around his torso and buried my face on his chest. He hugged me tight and I can hear his heartbeat rapidly that I thought it might burst. Mine was doing the same.

I raised my head and he kissed my forehead long enough that I felt heat from his lips. "I love you, Jung Minji." He whispered.

This time, I answered, "I love you too."

Everything is bright now and the sun is already well above the mountains. For the first time since we've arrived, I noticed birds chirping as the whole world starts a new beginning. In Seongjun's arms, I thought we are starting a new one too. I get now why he likes the sunrise more. No matter how tiring and awful yesterday was, there's always a time to start over.

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