✓Crotchet || MCND Castle J

Chapter 23 - Start Over

Minji's POV

Apparently, crying for days does only little in helping to feel better. For about a couple of months, I distracted myself by focusing on my project. When I finished editing and I seem content with the story, I immediately sent it to Mimi.

I tried writing some lyrics, but I cannot finish anything without thinking about Seongjun. Somehow, I always imagine him composing my songs. When I write, I try to fit every word into his style and that hurts me.

I did what will benefit me. I cannot let this happen to me any longer. Jerry has been telling me different versions of "I told you so" every day and I think he's right. I let Seongjun affect me so much that he also made me stop doing the thing I love the most.

Nothing has been solved, nothing was talked out, but somehow within me, I'm starting to feel fine. I've decided that the questions that swarm through my head should be left unanswered. If I seek explanations, I wouldn't be able to move on.

He already made his decision so I have to make mine, and that is focusing on people who actually wanted to stay by my side.

I went to the cafeteria at lunchtime. There isn't any more reason to hide because the whisperings and rumors had died along with Seongjun's goodbye. The threats had stopped too and, surprisingly, as well as Gaeun's annoying remarks every time she sees me. The smug look on her face didn't leave, though.

When I entered, the first people I saw were Taewoo and Yongha. I tried to pretend I didn't see them but I was facing their direction and Yongha raised his hand to invite me over. I saw it, I perfectly did but I still went on pretending that I didn't.

I walked in another direction to find an empty table, and then someone grabbed my shoulder. I spun around and came face to face with Yongha.

"Hey," he said, pointing backward at the direction of the table where Taewoo sat. "You didn't see me waving?"

"Uh..no." I avoided his eyes, scared that he'll see through me.

"Well, now you do." He waved his hand right in front of my face, smiling like he always does. "Come join us. Today's MCND debut day. We're thinking of celebrating later. Without Seongjun, obviously but we still have to be supportive friends."

"I, uh..." I stuttered, trying to think of nice words to reject him. Obviously, Seongjun didn't tell them about anything that had happened to us and I won't be the one to break the news. Besides, I only got to be friends with them because of him and now that he'd chosen to be out of my life, I don't think it's fair to keep these two to myself.

Thankfully, I spotted Jihwa sitting alone on a table from behind Yongha's shoulders.

"...uh..I'm really sorry but there's something me and my friend have to talk about," I told him and pointed to Jihwa's table. "She's right over there."

Yongha looked behind him and then back at me. He looked disappointed and I can't help but feel sorry. "Oh. But you'll come to celebrate with us later, right? We just basically have to watch the music video and eat."

"I'll try."

"Try? Make that 'Sure'. You never hang out with us anymore."

"I'm so sorry," I said. "I'm just really busy. I really have to go. Lunchtime is ending soon so.."

"Right, right." He stepped back. "Call us if you can come, okay?"

"Okay."

I went to Jihwa and she was surprised when I sat across from her.

"Thank God you're here," I said.

"What?" I glanced back at the table where Yongha was sitting back beside Taewoo. Jihwa followed my line of sight. "Seongjun's friends. What did they want?"