Broken Strings

When you know its time to say Goodbye

Well the truth hurts
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

Beam's POV

Its been a few days since I came back home from my medical mission, Forth has yet to go be back from his parents home.

The days I have been separated with Forth has given me a lot of times to think.

Forth texted me last week telling me his Dad got it worst and so more or less he is staying in the hospital with him.

The noise of Forth and Beam's relationship lessen a little. They respect Forth's silence when they learned of his Dad's condition.

On the other hand, Beam's social account is private since from the start. Still his personal informations has been leaked making it hard for him to report to the hospital. He even needed to change his schedules to night time to avoid unnecessary drama during the day.

It was hard for Beam. Threats has been sent to him since his relationship with Forth has been exposed.

Beam is spacing out when a very tired looking Forth, entered their apartment.

Beam immediately runs and hugs Forth. Drag him to bed and just lay him down.

"I'll heat up some food. Eat then sleep. You look really sleepy." Beam

"I had food before I came here, I just want to sleep. Cuddle with me please." Forth

Beam complies. His Forth is really pittyful right now.

After a few hours, Forth wakes up still in Beam's hug.

"Feeling better?" Beam

Forth just nods.

"How's your medical mission?" Forth

"Good. It's less hectic than we expect it to be." Beam

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Finally Beam breaks the awkward silence between them.

"Forth... its been two months. ...
This awkwardness between us...
Its like there's a barrier between us...
We calculate everything that we say...
so afraid of hurting each other.
We used to tell each other everything. In a way, it was like a therapy for me, after a long day of work...
But now its even hard to open up a conversation." Beam

"..."

"Besides I keep seeing you with Thalia these days. She is always with you on the hospital, with the rest of your family." Still Beam

"I know you are tired now, but I thinks we need to talk...
Do you still want me by your side Forth? " Beam

"You know I love you Beam" Forth

"I know, but that is not my question Forth. I know you have a lot of responsibilities right now on your shoulder, and I am making it more burdensome to you now." Beam

"Please don't make me choose. Not right now, you know I needed you by my side especially now." Forth

"..."

"..."

"No Forth, what you need now is peace of mind. I know I create a lot of troubles for you...
And you need me by your side???
I cannot even go near you...I am afraid I will upset your family more.
It's been 5 years Forth and I am still not welcome in your circle.Not in your family. Not by your fans. " Beam

"Are you giving up on me Beam?" Forth

"I do get tired too Forth. I have been wooing your parents for years and still of no used. It's not working right between you and me. You will only blame yourself if something happens to your Dad because of how he hates me. I doubt if you can still look me in the eyes if that ever happens Forth. Admit it Forth, I am a burden to you now than a support.

Maybe its right to let go now, when we still have the love for each other.
I hate to imagine one day, I will see hate in your eyes. Or maybe you'll see the hate in me. My love for you has turned into a poison Forth.I don't know when it all started, but now part of me is bitter." Beam

Beam in all his honesty. Really the bullying and unjustness he piled up for five years are finally spilling.

He loves Forth and he knows Forth will lose everything for choosing him. His singing career that he loves too much and his family.

A poet once said, it takes more courage to let go than to hold on. Finally he gets it now. No, this is not him looking for an escaped, he just wishes Forth can have a less complicated choice of love.

Forth was not even gay when Beam confesses to him in college. Its just started from a simple curiousity that turned into love.

Maybe Forth deserves a more acceptable kind of love .Someone he can proudly introduced to his family and the masses. Not someone who only brings him trouble.

One and more reasons to let go of Forth. Or Maybe it is true, he is super tired of everything he just want to let go. Maybe this separation will not guarantee their happiness..
but Beam felt it is the most logical to do right now.

When Forth remains silent, Beam knows he is slowly accepting everything.

It hurts, he expect Forth to be more ballistic but maybe Forth is just really tired of everything too.

A/N:

Forgive the grammar and typos, sometimes I am just too lazy to check.🐷

Photos credited to the original uploader or whoever owns it.🐷