eight letters • tk

4

I sigh sadly and I open the door of my apartment and my eyes search quickly for him.

"Gguk?"

Silent...

Silent...

I slightly pout and look at the time, it's already 8:30pm, where is he? I sigh then I turned around to close the door and I turned back around and my eyes grew big and I startled when I see him infront of me.

"The fuck Jungkook?!"

He just chuckled slightly and he rolled his eyes and he took his shoes and wear it. I furrowed my eyebrows and just look at him, he's wearing a simple black jeans and black hoodie but he still looks so fine. The fuck. Wait? Is he going somewhere again?

I just look at him sadly and after he wear his shoes he stand up and walk to me, right in the door, not even glancing at me. He was about to open the door but I stop him.

"W-Where are you going?" - fuck I stuttered

He look at me and he raise his brows. I slightly gulp and just look at him, raising my eyebrows too.

"Going to fuck someone"

/ DDUG DDUG DDUG DDUG DDUG /

I froze and I suddenly felt a lump on my throat. Fuck??? H-He's going to fuck someone??? He's joking, I know he's a playboy and he's just playing relationship but he'll never use his body for this shit. I know, the hyungs know. Fuck.

I chuckled fakely and he furrowed his brows to me.

"Woah? Y-You're going to lose your virginity now? Nice" - I chuckled and look away but deep inside I want to shout at him

"Who said I'm still virgin? I'm not a virgin anymore, I've been fucking girls in my whole life, incase you didn't know" - he said smirking and he open the door and leave 

/ DDUG DDUG DDUG DDUG DDUG /

He's not a virgin anymore?

I froze and I felt a deep pang on my chest as my tears suddenly fall. I clenched my fist and I bite my lips, slightly pouting while my tears keeps flowing. I don't know but I felt hurt... I know virginity is not a big deal but for me it's a big deal... and why it's hurt? I don't know maybe because I'm still hoping that he'll be my first and I will be his first too but I guess that will never happen..

I sniff and I sit on the door and put my head on my knee and just cry silently while I'm imagining things.

I can't help but to imagining him with other girls doing that sexual stuffs and It's hurts... It's hurts because he's just doing this for his fun(?)..... It's hurt because I love him...

I felt a deep pang on my chest when I imagining him kissing someone who's not me. I know it's fucking crazy but I can't help but to thinking him... And it's hurts. It's so fucking hurts...

And I can't do anything to stop him because he'll not listen to me and he's not mine... and if this is making him happy, I'll let him do what he wants because his happiness is my happiness too.. yeah...

I sniff and look up and I wipe my tears and smile sadly.

"It's okay taehyung... It's okay.. He's happy and you should be happy..."

▶▶

I slightly opened my eyes from the brightness of the sunlight reaching my eyes. I yawn and close my eyes again for a seconds and slightly pout then I was about to rub my eyes when I felt a grip on my right hand.