What is Home

Chapter Forty-Three

My mind was left off focus until lunch. It wasn't my plan when I woke up this morning to have Grayson distracting me all day. But I was glad that my distractions were happy ones and not the sad ones I had been experiencing the last few weeks.

I had barely seen Grayson since our walk to first period. We had already gone half way through the day to lunch time, and he had kind of disappeared off the face of the earth, or I guess more reasonably, Lincoln High. It wasn't like him to not stop by and give me a wave before disappearing to his classroom. I honestly expected it to be more after our conversation before school started.

"Charlee I'll grab you lunch just sit down alright?" Reece said as we made our way into the cafeteria. He had been my bag boy all day. Surprisingly, he was being extremely helpful, letting all the pain I forced onto him just slide away forever.

I took a seat at our normal table, laying the crutches under it out of everyone's way. I rested my head on the table, closing my eyes as voices started to fill the area around me. Distant conversations, chairs screeching across the hard floor, trays hitting against tables, bags dropping to the floor, sounded from every direction.

"Here you go." I heard the sound of a tray connecting with the table by my ear causing me to sit up.

"Thanks Reece." I half smiled at him as he pulled the chair out across from me. "Where is everyone today?" I looked around at our empty table, whereas every other table around us seemed to be filled.

"They went out for lunch." His eyes focused on the food in front of him. "I said I'd stay behind with you." He shrugged his shoulders. "Didn't need my little sister being alone."

"We're like two months apart, barely little." I sighed feeling like everyone was avoiding me. I mean they probably were. "Did I do something? It seems like everyone's been avoiding me."

"I mean what didn't you do Charlee?" He picked food off his tray putting it in his mouth. "They're over it though. They do this every month. Once a month everyone goes out. Today just so happens to be the day they picked."

"But why wasn't I just invited? I don't mean to invite myself, but I thought I was part of this group?" I pushed the food around my tray losing all appetite. I really just wanted to see Grayson.

"I don't know." He shrugged ending the conversation there.

Half way through lunch I felt the hunger inside me growing and finally began to fill my body with food. Reece was buried in his phone, forgetting that my presence was even before him. He should have just gone with them. I didn't really need his pity.

"Reece?" I tried to break my brain from building the anger trying to fill it. His eyes jumped from his screen to look at me. "Can I call Grayson? Please." I was practically begging him.

"Maybe you shouldn't have lost your phone. Then you would be able to call him."

His fingers went back to tapping on his screen. I took a deep breath trying to hold back the anger. But I hadn't started therapy and this idea of settling anger hadn't filled my mind yet. I reached across the table yanking the phone from his hands. He jumped up from his chair to grab the phone from me, shoving the table into my chest. I coughed from the impact, it fucking hurt.

My eyes read the words on the screen while he fought to grab the phone from me.

Just leave her. It's not too late to join us. She's a disaster waiting to happen come on dude.

My eyes flicked up to the name at the top of the screen, causing me to throw the phone across the cafeteria.

"Charlee what the fuck!" I ignored the sting in my eyes, the screaming in my face, the numbness filling my body.

"I'll buy you a new one." I stood up, grabbing my crutches from the ground, before exiting the cafeteria, after yet another disturbance to this goddamn place.

As I hopped down the corridor in the front of the school, light shined in from outside. The walls lacked actual walls. It was floor to ceiling glass, letting the sunshine warm the area. Mostly because it was the entrance to the school though. The walls weren't actually walls, just doors, on one side.

"Charlee girl!" A door to my right slammed open causing my eyes to look into the direction of such a distant person.

"What do you want?" I wanted my voice to come off harsh but instead I think it just came off as sad, even maybe mad.

"What's wrong?" I felt his hands cup my face but the tears blurring my sight made his face out of focus. I tried to shake my head out of his hands but his grip didn't slip. "Tell me." His thumbs rubbed against my skin, catching any falling tears before they could even reach down my cheek.

"Nothing." I sniffled and reached up myself, rubbing the tears from my eyes making his face come into focus. Grayson's face had only one emotion, an emotion that he sucked at hiding. Guilt.

"This is my fault. I was supposed to be there today and I haven't been."

"No everything is always my fault. I read your signs wrong this morning." I tried to move around him but he side stepped in front of me every time I tried. "Grayson I just want to be alone. Please just let me go."

"Baker, Coleman, get back to the Cafeteria. You know you aren't supposed to wander the halls. Other classes are in session."

"I'm trying to go to the nurse. He won't let me go." I said barely opening my mouth to talk.

A blonde girl entered the building. A girl that I remember seeing at his front door calling for him. I shook my head at the sight before me. "Can I go there or is that not allowed?" I snapped at the teacher standing in front of me. I sighed. "I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I'm just in a lot of pain. I'm sorry." Not even physical pain, emotional pain.

"Go ahead." I hopped off leaving Grayson with his bitch.