What is Home

Chapter Fifty-Four

The car felt suffocating. All I could smell was sweat which was making my stomach turn. The thoughts of Pierce needing Ally still sent my mind to dark places I knew it shouldn't be going.

I had made so much progress. I had been so positive. It upset me that just one little change could affect me so deeply. In the blink of an eye everything I had built just slipped through my fingertips.

My phone buzzing in my hands pulled me from my spiral. "Is everything okay?" Were the first words from my mouth. I wasn't expecting a call and it instantly sent my mind to dark thoughts. My words caused my mom to look back.

"Are you okay?" Worry sounded from the boy who chose her over me.

"I told you we will talk tonight. I'm fine." I looked at my mom and sighed.

"Tell me when we are going to get to do that?"

"We always find time. Just go be with your team please." I looked away from everyone in the car who had their eyes on me. "I'll see you in a few hours. Love you."

The voice on the other end of the phone went quiet for a few seconds before his voice spoke almost silently. "Charlee. Stop pushing me away."

"I'm not. I have to go."

"Love you." His voice sounded irritated as the line went dead.

I pulled my book off from the floor of the car and curled up with it on the seat next to my siblings, hoping that the distraction would help. It always did.

Once we arrived at home I ran inside before anyone could stop me to help bring things inside. I ran right to my room and undressed myself. I couldn't get the smell off me fast enough. I needed to wash the ups and downs of the day off. I turned on my shower letting the water warm before stepping under the water that was burning my skin. It was a burning feeling that I needed.

After letting the water run down my body for longer than I should have, I finally ran soap over my body scrubbing off any more pain left behind. When I stepped out of the shower with dry skin I felt like a new woman who was ready to let loose for the night. I was ready for the never ending drinks of alcohol I was going to dump down my throat. I actually fed off the gross taste and the burn.

"Charlee! Grayson's here!" My mom called from downstairs as I slid myself into jeans and a plain white shirt. I ran a brush through my wet hair when I heard the sound of my door open.

"That didn't take long." A laugh broke through my room as I stepped out of my bathroom.

"You boys fucking stink. I'm sorry." I laughed back at him, setting my brush back into my bathroom. "You're still taking me to Harlow's I assume?"

"Yeah we just have to pick up Ally on the way. Thought I'd just stop and spend some time with you before we head out because I know you're going there to forget the night." He smiled before he laid back down onto my bed.

"Oh don't you know it. My goal is to wake up not knowing where the hell I am. Have to go all out for my three favorite boys." I widened my eyes for a second. "I mean-" I couldn't even think of how to fix my slip up.

"It's okay that you're trying to fix your friendship with Pierce." He leaned up on his elbows to look at me better. "No one understands why you two just went to avoiding each other and hating each other. It was kind of just out of the blue anyways." He shrugged before laying back again.

"I guess I just cut him off because I didn't want you to think something was going on when you and I were trying to be something. I don't know if you're the jealous type or anything so I just wanted to cut him out to make things easier. I guess. I wasn't really in the best state of mind."

I laid down next to Grayson, only instead of on my back I laid on my stomach, resting my head on my hands. I watched Grayson roll onto his side to look at me. I could still tell how much he cared about me. He would never be able to fully let go of the girl he was trying to replace Emery for.

"You know I wouldn't have cared if you were friends with him. He's dating my sister. I knew I wouldn't have anything to worry about. Because if that boy ever hurt my sister his head would be bashed into the pavement." I felt an anger pulling in my chest that I tried to push away.

There was no way in hell Grayson would ever put hands on Pierce. If he did, my hands would be around his throat faster than he would ever expect. I would never let anyone lay a finger on Pierce because he was my whole damn world. No one was going to break the brightness that shined from my light.