Grow with the Flow (Published under Bliss Books)

Kabanata 23

Revelation

Years passed by quickly.

In  my seven years in show business, a lot has happened. I could feel how much I've grown, be it physically or mentally, as a person.

And I'm proud of that. More than my popularity and achievements, I'm more proud that I've developed into the person I am today. Someone who was molded to have a wider perspective on things.

Sa kabila ng lahat, hindi maipagkakailang sumasagi pa rin sa isip ko si Colton.

The experiences and moments I've shared with him are all precious. It's far from being forgotten. I'm most thankful to him for being the one to teach me a lot of things as soon as I started living the real life.

I don't think I would ever forget him. And it's okay. I'm fine with it. I'd gladly carry our memories with me throughout this lifetime.

After leaving The Lodge though, I haven't really heard from him, nor I tried to reach out again. A part of me was scared to know how he's doing but mostly, it was because I know we really needed the distance.

The time to be away from each other. The time to find ourselves and grow.

Noong mga unang araw ko sa Maynila, may mga gabing hirap akong makatulog dahil sa pangungulila sa kanya. Those moments, I would ask myself if I actually did the right thing or if I, perhaps, regret my decision.

But then I realized that no. I don't regret it. I'm satisfied with the outcome of my choices from my point of view. It's just that, he's someone I loved and being away from him had been indeed painful.

"Nari! May problema tayo!"

Kaya naman nang ihatid sa 'kin ng hinihingal na si Rafa ang balita na si Colton Jace Octavio ang makakapareha ko sa shooting ng summer collection ng isang brand para sa araw na ito ay hindi ko alam ang dapat na maging reaskyon.

"Tell me you're kidding..." wala sa sariling anas ko.

I was completely taken aback. My mind was clouded by the thoughts of how I should address him, how to act around him, and how I should treat him.

But apart from those, there were more important questions lingering on my mind. How was he? Has he been staying in the island for seven years? I thought he was completely done with his showbiz career?

Napahilot sa sentido si Rafa. "I'm sorry, Nari, but I'm not... I swear, hindi talaga siya 'yong sinabi nilang ka-partner mo no'ng meeting! Nagkaproblema lang daw kaya nagkaroon ng changes."

Napailing-iling ako habang pabalik-balik ng lakad sa dressing room. Hindi mapakali at hindi mapirmi sa isang tabi. "I can't believe this!"

"I know, sorry talaga. Kung hindi pa lang sana tayo nakapirma sa kontrata, ako pa mismo ang magsa-suggest na mag-backout na lang..." matabang na wika niya. Kitang-kita ko ang guilt sa hindi maipinta niyang hitsura.

Rafa rarely shows emotion. So to see her like this is somehow amusing. Sa kabila ng sitwasyon ay napatawa naman ako nang bahagya. Hindi ko alam kung saan ko hinugot ang lakas at nakuha ko pang isantabi ang naghaharumentadong sistema.

Maybe...I'm just not as feeble as how I used to be.

"Nah... I don't want them to think na hindi ako professional."