Reason To Be (A Zouis Family AU)

Part One, Chapter Eight

Louis can't help but toss and turn in bed that night.

He has a lot on his mind; and by a lot, he means the kids.

Of course, Liam is at the forefront what with the way he's been behaving lately. The kid has never been the sort to block him out. On the contrary, Liam has always been the first to let him never whenever something isn't quite right with him, and it's always made his job as Dad much easier.

Now he's struggling to break through to the boy; his mood swings have been out of control and whenever he tries to talk to him about it, he seems to make things worse. And he hates that, that feeling of helplessness because it's all he ever wants to be there for his son.

For all of his sons, as new as that thought still feels to him.

Harry's been worrying him too, the kid's nightmares haven't been frequent but they have been causing new issues to arise. As he lays there in his own bed, Zayn is up in the younger boys' room changing his sheets after yet another accident.

The kid had been terrified the first time it happened, trying to cover it up himself out of fear of getting into trouble. They had reassured him that it was okay, of course, and it still is - he's just worried that the boy is getting too comfortable with never talking about his dreams and letting the cycle continue.

As for Niall, the boy is good at giving them just that extra added dash of stress that puts them close to bubbling over the edge. He has a slight problem with wandering.

And by slight, he means that the toddler had nearly given them all heart attacks on several occasions. The most recent being that day in the supermarket.

He'd demanded that he be allowed to walk rather than confined to the chair inside the trolley, and they had allowed him to on the promise that he keep ahold of his Papa's hand at all costs since Louis would be pushing the cart. And Zayn had let go for barely a second to get something down from a high shelf that he had been unable to reach; only for the boy to be nowhere to be seen when he had tried to take his hand again.

Of course, they had panicked. All of them; even Liam had shown the most emotion (other than anger) that he had seen in the boy in weeks. They'd eventually found Niall in the toy aisle, smiling and happy enough as he trotted up to them and asked if he was allowed to have the biggest teddy in the store.

He can smile at the memory now, but at the time it has been like living his worst nightmare of losing a child.

His mind is still full when Zayn reenters the room, letting out a sigh as he climbs back under the covers on his side of the bed.

"Is he okay?" Louis asks, rolling over to face his husband.

Zayn leans across to press a kiss to his forehead before settling back into the pillows. "He's fine. Think we need to have a proper chat with him about these nightmares tomorrow, though," he says, and Louis nods in agreement, both of them exhausted from the past twenty-four hours.

He's said it before and he decides to say it once again as he closes his eyes. "What a day."

They make sure to have that chat with Harry after breakfast the following day. Niall's already emptying the entire contents of the toy box over the living room floor and Liam has managed to skulk back off to his room, and so they take the opportunity whilst they have the kid alone, sitting him on the counter in the kitchen.

He looks a little worried, as if he's waiting for bad news, and Louis hurried to reassure the kid because dammit - he can't handle the ways those big green eyes are looking at him as if he's about to tear down his entire world.