Reason To Be (A Zouis Family AU)

Interlude Two, Chapter Two

Zayn's nerves seem to fully dissipate after that first day of work. He comes home buzzing and Louis is so happy for the man and all of his hard work, listening to him as he tells him all about his day, the new staff members that he had met and gotten along with instantly, the students he had taught.

And he's happy for him, he really is.

Because it would be selfish of him to anything less.

So when Zayn starts leaving for work early before the boys are even up for breakfast and coming home late after they're in bed, he tries to keep the smile on his face and the praise on his tongue, staying up until the early hours just to listen about his husband's day even though they're both so tired that it's clear they'd much rather sleep instead. But then the next morning comes and the cycle replays itself.

He keeps up the smiles and happy exterior for as long as he can. Even when the nightly conversations stop and the man falls into bed beside him with barely a greeting before he's asleep. Even when Niall tries to talk to him one morning when he's running late and the man dismisses their youngest before leaving. Even when he goes onto social media and is faced with dozens of posts from Zayn's work friends, all smiles and happiness (and it definitely doesn't bother him that there are other men with their arms around his husband in a way that he hasn't had in quite some time - definitely not).

What knocks the nail on the head is when the man doesn't even bother to call him the one night he doesn't come home. Instead, he gets a text at ten p.m and it's clear that his husband hasn't even stopped to think that their oldest will be getting his AS results the following day or that maybe Louis wants him home for once.

Zayn
class ran late, gonna stay in one of the spare dorms for the night. love you all xx

Louis reads and then rereads the words a dozen times over, trying to figure out if it's wrong of him to feel so angry about them. Sure, the man had said he loves them, but it sure as hell doesn't feel very loving.

He doesn't even bother with a reply, and as much as he hates to admit it - he knows exactly why he doesn't. Because he wants to see how much he really cares. Wants to put it to the rest, because if he really cares then he won't need a reminder about the fact that Liam's results day is tomorrow.

He'll be there, he tells himself. He will.

He shoves his phone back into his pocket with a sigh, unable to focus on the TV because his mind is whirring with a billion ugly thoughts.

His head always finds a way to turn something from bad to worse. What starts with 'he'll prove himself' and 'he'll be there' morph into the darker 'he doesn't care', 'he doesn't want to come home because he doesn't love you', 'he's found someone else'.

The last one plays on his mind the most.
Because why else would he be spending so much time at the university? Nobody enjoys work that much, nobody enjoys spending so much time away from their family. No matter what promotion or pay check is waiting at the end.

So it must be true.
He must be having an affair.

The thought makes his heart race and his stomach churn because he doesn't know what he'll do when the truth comes out. He doesn't know how he'll cope without the man he loves by his side - Zayn is his rock, the one person anchoring him into a steady life. The one person who calms his mind when it races like this, who stops him from spinning out of control when his mind refuses to be calmed.

He takes a shaking breath.
What about the boys? Liam will spiral if they divorce, regardless of how grown up he likes to act. Harry is sensitive, he'll fold in on himself. Niall might stop talking again and -