Reason To Be (A Zouis Family AU)

Part Two, Chapter Six

Liam bites his nails so low that they grow sore whilst he sits in the waiting room at the hospital. Hospitals make him nervous, they always have. He doesn't remember much about his Mum, but what he does is all set in the sterile whiteness of a hospital ward.

Of course, he's been to the hospital a bunch of times since then. For Harry, mostly, with his diabetes, and that's always frightening enough. And of course, there's that time Niall had shoved a pea up his nose. That hadn't been frightening at all; in fact, he remembers laughing so hard that the doctor had offered to give him a check up too because of all the wheezing.

This time just feels different.
Papa had come to school unannounced and picked him and Harry up, and all he'd been worried about at the time was skipping class. And he hates to admit it, but even now, the worry about all of his missed work is still gnawing at the back of his mind.

He hadn't said much. Just that Niall was in the hospital and it seemed really serious, and when they'd arrived, Dad had come out of one of the cubicles crying and for one heart stopping moment, he'd thought that Niall was...

He shudders at even the thought, claws of anxiety and guilt ripping at his insides.

Anyway, Dad had been quick to reassure them all that Niall was okay. Some of the others...not so much. Papa had gone through to see their brother with their Dad, and one of the nurses had taken him and Harry back to a smaller waiting room filled with toys and teddies.

He doesn't bother with any of it. He just keeps biting at his sore finger nails with his knee bobbing up and down rapidly in front of him.

He keeps replaying his words to his brother over and over in his head from that morning. His brain works in sly ways to convince him that those words had somehow caused this.
And it works.

His eyes get all teary and his breathing a little shaky.
When I said I wanted him to shut up forever, this isn't what I meant, he thinks to himself, but it doesn't reassure him at all.

His panic must be showing externally, because his free hand that grips the arm of the wooden chair he's seated on is suddenly covered by a smaller one. He sniffs and swipes at his eyes quickly, glancing across at Harry, whose hand is gripping his firmly like he needs the contact too, tears flowing freely down the eleven year olds face.

"He's okay, Haz," he says softly, trying to reassure his younger brother. He isn't sure he's doing a very good job - he hasn't slept much and he hasn't eaten lunch yet either, so his voice sounds sort of far away even to his own ears.

But Harry just gives a small nod, not bothering to dry his tear stained face. "Yeah. But - but Ni's not meant to have anything bad happen to him," he murmurs, as if it makes all the sense in the world. When Liam gives him a questioning frown, he continues. "I just mean...I've always protected him, and then when you guys found us, everyone else protected us both. And nothing bad's ever happened to him since. He's not meant to have anything bad happen to him," he repeats, voice cracking a little in the middle as more tears begin to fall.

And Liam has always been sensitive too, so his own eyes start to sting a little. He takes a small breath and moves his hand, putting his arm over his little brother's shoulders instead and pulling him into his side.

It's the most time he's spent with Harry in what feels like forever, now that he thinks about it, and he hates that this is what it has to come to to bring them together.

It only makes him feel guiltier.

The door swings open then, and they both look up quickly to see their Dad entering. His eyes are all red but he isn't crying anymore, though he looks like he might start all over again when he sees the two of them.