Reason To Be (A Zouis Family AU)

Part Two, Chapter Eleven

Harry lays awake in bed a few nights later, just thinking about things. He's on his back, one hand rested over his stomach, eyes trained on the ceiling.

Niall's bedside lamp is on, projecting stars and planets over their walls and curtains, the same lamp he's had since they moved in. It comforts him, makes him feel like home. All warm and fuzzy inside.

He feels particularly warm and fuzzy that night, amidst all the concern about his brother's lack of speech, because his head is filled with Peter Peter Peter. He's new, and Harry has been helping him to settle in. And he's got a crush on him, he won't even both to hide it this time. He isn't sure when he stopped liking Will, but now Peter makes his face grow all warm and his heart speed up instead.

And he already knows that Peter doesn't like girls. He'd just come out and said it to him on his first day, and Harry had quietly told him the same. And Peter had been so lovely about it that he'd pretty much just decided that he liked him there and then.

He smiles a little, rolling onto his side and jumping when he sees Niall staring at him silently from the opposite bed. His little brother's eyes are tired but open, Red cuddled against his chest.

"Hey," he whispers through the dark, a huge chunk of him still praying for an answer. He manages to ignore the disappointment when he doesn't get one. "Can't you sleep?" He asks, and Niall gives a small shake of his head.

Harry smiles sympathetically, climbing out of his own bed and pattering across to Niall's. The eight year old wiggles across to make room for him, holding up the covers for Harry to crawl under and lay next to him. He smiles at the younger boy.

"I can't either," he admits after a moment, and Niall just stares at him as if waiting for him to continue. And so he does. "There's a boy called Peter who I really like. But I don't want to ruin it like I did with Will," he says softly.

Niall has heard all about Will by now, because Harry has realised that for the first time ever, he can get a word in edgeways to the younger boy. That doesn't mean to say he prefers this silent version of his brother. Not one bit.

Niall's hand finds his under the covers, giving it a small squeeze. Harry smiles. "What?" He asks, and Niall makes a kissing face, making him laugh. "Ew, yuck. I'm not gonna kiss him," he says, and Niall lets out a giggle.

Harry pauses then, contemplating it for a moment before quickly dismissing the idea. He's not really interested in kisses and stuff yet.

"Hm, maybe it'll be nice just to hold his hand," he says quietly instead, and Niall grins his usual cheeky grin, squeezing his hand super tight until Harry lets out a yelp and pulls it away.

"Ouch! Not like that," he says, making Niall grin again before his smile shrinks and he looks a little sad. Harry frowns, leaning up on one elbow. "What's wrong?"

Niall just chews his lip and gives a small shrug, so Harry decides to use their usual method, taking his hand again. "Just nod for yes and shake for no. And squeeze my hand if it's something else," he instructs, and Harry nods. "Okay. Is it about going back to school?" He asks instantly, because he knows it's been announced that Niall's class will be going back in a couple more weeks and it's going to be a huge deal.

Niall pauses before he gives his hand a squeeze.

Harry frowns. "What do you mean? Just sort of?" He asks, and his brother gives a small nod against the pillows. "Are you scared?"

He shakes his head 'no' at that.

"Okay. Are you worried?"

A hesitant nod.