His Heart's Desire

2

Alice

"I'm sorry, Mr. Micknealing. I just don't like the way they make me feel." I push the small plastic cup of pills towards the brooding man.

"But Alice, you know not taking your prescribed medication means we have to send you back home."

I stay silent in my seat.

I hear Mr. Micknealing let out an audible sigh. "Look, you know I understand what you're going through,"

No, you don't.

"But making sure you're well off and taking what's prescribed is my job. I can't let you leave another session like this." He tells me referring to the bags under my eyes.

"My apologies again Mr. Micknealing," I whisper as my head lowers.

"Alice remember, I'd like it if you called me Edgar." He says calmly.

"Sorry, Edgar."

He leans back in his chair and clicks his pen twice. "How about we start you on a lower dose? We could work our way up again if it doesn't seem to work." He questions and looks to me waiting for a response.

"Okay."

"Good, should be ready sometime next week... Same pharmacist?" He asks me with one glance and I nod. He scribbles words onto the thin sheet of paper.

He rips the paper off the pad and I jump at the noise.

"Thank you Mr. Mickne- Edgar. I must be on my way now." I stand looking at the clock and nod at him as he sees me out.

"Have a good rest of your day Alice."

"You too," I mumble.

~~

"Jessica? Brodie?" I call out when I enter the foyer. I rub my eye sleepily and drop my bag and start to take my jacket off.

"In here pumpkin!" I hear the familiar voice of my aunt Jessie yells from the kitchen. I've only lived in their house for a week yet they make me feel so at home. Well, Jessie does for the most part.

I enter and walk into her open arms. She hugs me and I breathe in the smell of warm cinnamon loving that Jessie loves to bake.

"I made cinnamon rolls, ginger snaps, pudding pie, and pumpkin pie!" She sings pulling something out of the oven. "And banana bread." She smiles.

I stay quiet and look at the vast array of sweets in front of me.

"Hun, why are you so quiet?" Jessie stops what she's doing and looks at me sadly. I'm always quiet... was it really that noticeable?

I raise my head and look at the woman who decided to take me in. "Mr. Micknealing said it's best to start over. You know on a lower dose and work my way up this time." I hesitate before saying the last part. "Jessie, I haven't been taking my meds." I feel my lip start to quiver. I hate those pills. I grew up with that medication always bounded to me. They were pills to get me to sleep and help with my night terrors. It never worked. So after many switches and doctors later with no hope, I just stopped taking them and would suffer through the night. But I especially couldn't take them because when they did work I'd fall asleep. And I can't fall asleep. It's too dangerous.

"Ally..." Jessie says and pulls away to look at me. "You know you're safe here." She tells me with pity.

I nod wanting to get away from this conversation. "Where's Brodie?" I ask.

"He's with his friends. He should be back soon." Jessie says rolling her eyes. "He still hasn't changed his sheets and I told him to do that before he left." She speaks of her son; my cousin.