Never Letting Go [Being Edited]

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

I ran down the street, the park in view. The cold breeze whipped against my skin as my feet pounded against the hard, cold pavement.

I ran in the direction of the playground, running around it and into the small path behind it. You wouldn't know it was there unless you stumbled and fell into it like Shane did when we were little. That's how we found it. At first, we planned on telling our parents about it but then decided that they probably wouldn't let us go there anymore. The view on the other side was breathtaking.

I winced as my feet touched the dirt, rocks and sticks poking my skin.

Soon, I was at the clearing. A small lake stood in front of me, the moonlight shining on it. You could hear the night life around it; crickets chirping, owls far away hooting.

Everything looked the same as it was seven years ago. Except now, at the edge of the lake sat a teenage boy, his knees pulled up under his chin as he rocked himself back and forth, silently crying.

My eyes widened before I dashed towards Shane. "Shane!" I cried.

He glanced towards my running figure, his eyes wide, just noticing me. I didn't think I'd been that silent.

Instead of saying anything, he buried his face in his knees, beginning to cry again.

I finally reached him and kneeled beside him.

"Shane," I begged, my voice cracking. I hated seeing him so sad and vulnerable. It wasn't like him. Especially now. "Please talk to me."

Shane looked at me, his eyes full of sadness. "Why'd you come here? How'd you know?" he asked.

"I came because I care about you and I know that when something bad happens, you can't just run away from it. You need help from your friends, no matter how much you don't want to admit it. And at the moment, Jake isn't here so I guess you'll just have to settle for me. And second, I didn't know. Actually, I completely forgot. You haven't exactly - how do I say this - brought back a lot of old memories since I've been here. Luckily, Cass remembered. She remembered it as the secret place we ditched her for," I told him, a small smile on my lips, laughter laced in my tone.

"I'm surprised you came. Normally, everyone leaves me," he said sadly, staring out at the lake as a few tears fell.

"Well, last time I checked, I wasn't everyone. And I hope I never am," I replied as I reached out to wipe the tears.

"I just- I just get so tired of this. Of living in the past. Of being judged. Of being a total douche to you," Shane admitted.

He was already sad so I wasn't going to make it any worse. Instead of agreeing, I said, "No one said you had to be. You choose whether or not you want to live in your past. You choose whether or not you care what people think. And you could've chosen to not be a douche."

He frowned, looking down at the grass as he began to tear little strands out.

"You know," he said a few moments later, "when I heard you were coming back, I was so happy. I felt as if everything would just go back to the way it was. But I knew I was hoping for too much. So I decided to be an asshole to you. I figured it'd be better if you judged me for that than for what really happened. I didn't want to lose you but in trying to keep you, I lost you. I just wanted things to be different.

"That day when you came back, when you jumped on me at the airport, I wanted it to stay like that forever. I just wanted to hold you and pretend everything was perfect. But I'm a broken, shattered, boy now, Evie. I've felt pain and I didn't want to feel it again if I told you and you rejected me. So instead, I rejected you."