Your Guardian Angel (GirlXGirl)

Chp. 9

-RILEY’S POV-

I hated feeling her feelings around Jake, it hurt, because not only did I miss feeling like that but I liked Jenson, and I had to watch her like someone else.

No it wasn’t a big deal yet, because the feelings between us were mutual, and I didn’t like her that much, but it was getting there. It was getting to the point where I would get jealous, and where I wanted to be with her more then usual… and I didn’t know how to stop it.

It’s not like I could walk out of her life, I was her Angel. I had to be around 24/7, until her birthday of course, then I could split. But did I want to leave? Did I even have a choice to stay or not?

I figured not because well, after you turn 18 you’re not a child anymore, you’re not innocent to people’s eyes, even though I knew Jenson wasn’t as innocent as she seemed. She had problems to, depression, and when she was younger and bullied, she had bad thoughts, thoughts that should never be pursued.

Suicide, cutting, drinking, smoking, even though she had never done any of it, well, besides the drinking, she still had thought about them.

It saddened me to think of Jenson leaving the world because of bullying, and her dad, and her sister, and Bren… but I was here. And her emotions and feelings were always coming first, not mine, even if it wasn’t a choice anymore.

We were sitting in the car and Jenson looked at me, “Riley, please talk to me.”

How could she beg me to talk to her when this is the first time we hung out all week? I sighed, “I’m talking, it’s just been a long day…”

Lie.

“It’s only 12 Riley, it couldn’t have been that long. Tell me what’s going on with you, please? You’re worrying me…”

I was worrying her? I couldn’t help it that I was taking her depression away, so that she would feel good most of the time and not have anxiety. It wasn’t my fault that I had to make sure everything went right for her so that she wouldn’t think about the bad things.

But she didn’t understand that…

“I don’t know… we never have girl time anymore. It always involves Jake now, and I feel like the third wheel, well I am, because I know he would rather be alone with you. You just invite me so I don’t have to feel left out, even though I still do.”

It was partially true what I was telling her, because I did feel that way, but that wasn’t the big picture of course.

I could feel her emotions change, reflecting as sad and regretful onto me, but I wasn’t taking those emotions away this time. She needed to feel that for a little bit, because that was her fault. She was neglecting me, and I wasn’t going to beg her to hang out with me, that’s not how I rolled.

She grabbed my arm slightly, making me have a full emotional connection with her, and it overwhelmed me. When we touched, I could feel every emotion she was having, on top of my own. It overwhelmed you if you weren’t waiting on it, and I wasn’t expecting her to grab me.

I looked at her, she smiled, “I’m sorry Riley… I really am, I just got so caught up… I’ll make it up to you though, I promise… we can hang out tonight, even though there’s really nothing to do here.”

I laughed, she was right about that actually, this town held nothing but a mall, movie theater, a couple of nice restaurants and fields of corn.

It was depressing actually.

She sighed, “Um… I know it’s cold but we can have a bonfire, a tiny one… I really don’t care, I just want you to be with me tonight.”

It was a sudden sentence that caught me off guard, and it sounded… nice. It almost sounded as if… no, she would never mean it in that way.

I could feel her emotions after, she was slightly embarrassed, and I smiled, “Ok that sounds fine with me.”

She squeezed my hand, “Good, cause we need to talk.”

Great.

　

　

　

We were sitting by the fire, it was cold, but it wasn’t unbearable. It had warmed up, but only slightly, and it was a dry cold, so it pretty much suffocated you. I scooted my chair closer to the fire as Jenson held a marshmallow over the blazing fire.

She had been timid, not really knowing how she wanted to approach her questions. We had small conversation here and there but I knew there was something bigger on her mind, I just couldn’t get her to talk.

Its not like I was trying anyway.

She probably wanted to talk about Jake, or why I didn’t like the fact that she liked him. Or she was getting suspicious about me being a little to protective, or being MIA most of the time.

Little did she know I was right beside her most of the time she thought she was alone.

I know, it sounded creepy, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to get to attached, or seem attached anyway… because I already was, but she didn’t know.

“Riley why don’t you come out with me and Jake more? Get to know some people… they would love to hang out with you. I mean you’re so likeable Riley, you’re funny and smart, and know how to have a good time. They all say it… even though they seem weird about it.”

I nodded, “Because I just don’t feel like it,“ or because all of Jake’s friends know what I was like before he saved me from myself.

Then it registered. What if Jake had been assigned to be my guardian angel? He moved in just in time, the beginning of last summer, we were best friends, he was sweet and everything you could ever want in someone…

And then a couple of months before I turned 18... He changed.

It was bizarre, and it all fit together… how was this possible? Was it possible? Me and Jake had a connection, this relationship that I had with no one else besides… Jenson.

The theory frightened me, and excited me at the same time. Could Jake have been my Guardian Angel and I just figured this out? Was it possible? And if it was possible… how could I bring it up to him?

Was it allowed? Fellow Guardians to converse about their past relations and Humans?

And if so… could I look to Jake for answers?