Your Guardian Angel (GirlXGirl)

Chp. 23

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JENSON’S POV-

When Riley kissed me… everything inside of me screamed Yes! but I knew it was wrong… I didn’t like her like that… there was just no way. I mean, she made me happy, but that was because we were best friends… it wasn’t because I wanted to be with her… was it?

She was stuck on this idea that I “loved her” more then a friend… I just hadn’t realized it yet. Of course Riley was going to say that, she wanted me to love her like that…

I was still shocked though, it was such an eye opener… Riley, my best friend, was gay… and she liked me.

I didn’t know what I was going to do… why didn’t Jake tell me? Was it because Riley asked him not to? I could understand if she had… it made perfect sense. She didn’t want to scare me away, and she almost did when she kissed me, but my heart told me to stay.

I turned over to see her still body, she was knocked out next to me, breathing calmly as she slept. Me on the other hand… I hadn’t been able to sleep, and it was 12:00 at night.

It was weird, the way Riley had this weird little connection with me, but I liked it. I felt so comfortable around her, even after she admitted she liked me… it hadn’t changed. I still wanted to stay here with her, I just didn’t know why…

I curled closer to her in the covers, maybe she was right, maybe I did need to figure out what I wanted… because I knew I needed her. She had made such a huge impact on my life since I had met her, I couldn’t just let that slip away because of this.

But what if I did love her? What if she was right? Would people judge me? Talk about me? Hate me? Just because I loved my best friend… Would my parents hate me and disown me for it?

It was a scary concept to think about…

Riley stirred, her body turning towards me and her arm falling on top of mine, like she was trying to hold my hand. I smiled unconsciously, it was… cute. The way she looked when she slept, the way she kind of snored, not loud and obnoxious, but the little sighs she made during the night. The way she looked so damn peaceful when she slept…

How could someone have such a fucked up past… and still be sane? She was the sweetest girl I knew, something like her being gay and liking me wouldn’t change that… she was still a good person.

And she still loved me unconditionally.

***

The next morning I was woken by Riley, what time did I even fall asleep? She smiled warmly, “Hey, I cooked pancakes… I know you love them… but you gotta brush your teeth before I give you a good morning kiss.”

I looked at her, a kiss? but she wasn’t serious as she walked off smirking. Was she going to continue playing mind games with me like that? And did I like it?

I walked into the bathroom, brushing my teeth and straightening my hair, and then I caught myself. Why was I trying to look good? It was just me and Riley… but the more I thought about it, it wasn’t the first time I had tried to impress her…

I leaned back, feeling my back touch the cool wall, I’m gay… and I like my best friend…

No, I wasn’t gay… maybe just bi… and that’s a maybe. I walked timidly to the kitchen, Riley looked up and smiled, “Milk or orange juice?”

I stuttered, “M-Milk…”

I sat at the bar, and she took a seat next to me with our drinks. The gesture was sweat, cooking me breakfast and all, but I knew what she was doing. She was trying to impress me, just like I had just caught myself trying to impress her.

She cut her pancake, “Do you like them?”

I had just finished chewing my first piece, they were really good actually, “Riley… I know what you’re trying to do.”

She twisted her barstool, facing me with her arms crossed and a cute smirk on her face, “What do you mean Jenson? I just fixed you breakfast…”

I rolled my eyes, she was acting way to innocent, it was almost sarcastic, “You’re trying to win me over, and it’s not gonna work. I’m not gay.”

She twisted her chair back around, continuing to eat her pancakes, then she smiled and mumbled, “Bet you Jake doesn’t cook you breakfast…”

“Will you stop!” I laid a punch into her arm and stifled a laugh, it was quite hilarious listening to her jabs she made about Jake. She was trying hard to show me she cared…

And to be completely honest… she was doing a good job.

I finished my breakfast and Riley looked at me, “So what do you want to do today?”

I shrugged, I didn’t really know what I wanted to do. I wanted to hang out with her, then I wanted to hang out with Jake, then I just wanted to be completely alone. I needed to sort things out… sort myself out to be correct…

She tilted her head, “You wanna be alone?”

I snapped my head up, she had a tendency to know what I was thinking, “Um… I’m not really sure. I just, I have a lot to think about Riley.”

She nodded, picking up our plates and starting the water, “Okay, I understand…”

Did I want to leave Riley on a Saturday? Or did I want to spend it with her…? I needed time to myself though… I needed to be alone. I stood, walking to her room and started gathering my things. She was right there, leaning against the door frame, looking… cute.

She smiled, as if she knew what I had thought about her, and she walked toward me. “Can I hug you?”

It was a random question, and she looked as if she really did, so I nodded. Her arms wrapped around me, her smell entangled me, her warmth, her touch… it all comforted me in some way.

She pulled back, “Drive safe, please…”

I nodded, feeling a little uneasy from the hug, “I will, I’ll uh… text you when I get home.”

She walked me to the door and opened it for me, “Sounds good.”

I walked out, she watched me pull out of her drive and then the door shut. I needed to think things through, a lot had happened, and being around her and Jake… them distracting me wasn’t going to help at all.

I pulled out onto the main road and sighed, then my conscious spoke, Seatbelt. I pulled it over me and snapped it.

Then I felt the familiar sense of having a presence besides me, but when I looked… it was always empty, just like every other time.