You were one of the first freelancers and one of the best you could never fill a mission no matter what happens you always succeed no matter who you fight you always come out on top. You've lost a lot of people you care about in your life along with...
Ghost, Grif and Simmons run up in front of Sarge, and stand there
Sarge: Hurry up ladies, this ain't no ice cream social!
Simmons: Ice cream social?
Sarge: Stop the pillow-talk you three. Anyone want to guess, why I gathered you here, today?
Grif: Um, is it because the war's over and you're sending us home?
Sarge: That's exactly it, private. War's over. We won. Turns out you're the big hero, and we're gonna hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float, Ghost gets to hold the flag, and Simmons here, is in charge of confetti!
Grif: I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir.
Sarge: God dammit private, shut your mouth or else I'll have Simmons slit your throat while you're asleep! And have Ghost hang you by the slit!
Simmons: Oh, I'd do it too.
Ghost: oh, I'd gladly give you more misery than you already have!
Sarge: I know you would Simmons... good man. Ghost I know you would brutally murder everyone if you had the right tools... I'm happy I am leading you! Couple of things today, ladies: Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost Number 1.
Grif: Crap, we're getting a rookie.
Ghost: Greeeeeaaaaattttt...
Sarge: That's right dead man. Our new recruit will be here within the week. But today, we received the first part of our shipment from Command. Lopez... bring up the vehicle.
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A jeep emerges from the hill behind Sarge
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Simmons: Shotgun!
Grif: Shotgun! (realizes that he lost) Fuck!
Ghost: I would gladly take the turret.
Sarge: May I introduce our new light reconnaissance vehicle. It has four inch armor plating, maaag buffer suspension, a mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentlemen, this is the M12-LRV! I like to call it the Warthog.
Simmons: Why 'Warthog' sir?
Sarge: Because M12-LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son.
Grif: No, but... why 'Warthog'? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig...
Sarge: Say that again?
Grif: I think it looks more like a puma.
Sarge: What in sam hell is a puma?
Simmons: Uh... you mean like the shoe company?
Grif: No, like a puma. It's a big cat. Like a lion.
Sarge: You're making that up.
Grif: I'm telling you, it's a real animal!
Ghost: It is a real animal sir.
Grif: See!! Even Ghost agrees with me
Sarge: Simmons, I want you to poison Grif's next meal and make sure he doesn't poison Ghost, he's my best soldier!
Simmons: Yes sir!
Sarge: Look, see these two tow hooks? They look like tusks. And what kind of animal has tusks?
Grif: A walrus.
Sarge: Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?
Ghost: But... Sir that is also a real animal.
Sarge: OH NO HE'S TOO FAR GONE SIMMONS KILL GRIF, NOW!!
Simmons: Yes sir!
Grif: Please no... AAAHHHHH!!
Simon pulls out assault rifle and start shooting at Grif as Ghost and sarge watch on
Church is looking at the red team through the sniper rifle, and Tucker is with him
Tucker: What is that thing?
Church: I don't know, but it looks like uh... looks like they got some kinda car down there. We'd better get back to base and report it.
Tucker: A car? How come they get a car?
Church: What are you complaining about man? We're about to get a tank in the very next drop.
Tucker: You can't pick up chicks in a tank.
Church: Oh, you know what, you could bitch about anything, couldn't you. We're gonna get a tank, and you're worried about chicks. What chicks are we gonna pick up man!? Firay, and secondly, how are we gonna pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?
Tucker: Well what kind of car is it?
Church: I don't know, I've never seen a car that looks like that before, it looks like a uh... like a big cat of some kind.
Tucker: ... ... what, like a puma?
Church: Yeah man, there ya go.
Back to the reds
After Simmons finally stop trying to kill Grif
Sarge: So unless anybody else has any more mythical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, we're gonna stick with 'the Warthog'. How about it Grif?
Grif: No sir, no more suggestions.
Sarge: Are you sure? How 'bout Bigfoot?
Grif: That's okay.
Sarge: Unicorn?
Grif: No really, I'm... I'm cool.
Sarge: Sasquatch?
Simmons: Leprechaun?
Grif: Hey, he doesn't need any help man...
Sarge: Phoenix!
Grif: Huh... Christ.
Sarge: Hey Simmons, what's the name of that Mexican lizard, eats all the goats?
Simmons: Uh, that would be the Chupacabra, sir!
Sarge: Hey Grif! Chupathingie, how 'bout that? I like it! Got a ring to it...
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