Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert) [Being heavily overhauled]

Recreation Chapter 14: The Installation

Fade in to the freighter crashing into the temple

Grif: What the hell are they doing out there?

Tucker: They've been trying to blast their way in here ever since I locked it down. They're not having much luck though are you fucking assholes! The stuff looks like rock, but it's way tougher.

Grif: What's tougher than rock?

Caboose: Paper.

Ghost: No Caboose, it's not.

Tucker: T- how the fuck should I know? Super-rock? What am I, some kind of geographist?

Sarge: They have some kind of big machine out there.

Tucker: Yeah, they just got that thing. I think they think they're gonna yank this door off with it. Not fuckin' happening.

Sarge: They wanna get their hands on that weapon?

Tucker: Yeah, and we can't let 'em turn it on, no matter what happens.

Sarge: Well why don't we just turn it on and use it against them?

Tucker: Huh! What? We don't know what it does! We could turn it on and it could make us all sterile.

Grif: Would it do that?

Tucker: Well, the last weapon we found was designed to wipe out all organic life in a huge radius.

Grif: (whistles) Wow. What's a, radius?

Tucker: I don't know, they just made me learn this crap for my dumb job. Point is, don't touch anything. You hit the wrong button or flip the wrong swtich, we'll all be dead before you can say- where's Caboose, Ghost and the chicks?

Sarge: Uh, I don't think that's how that expression goes.

Tucker: No, I mean where the fuck is Caboose, Ghost and the chicks?

Sarge: Ah yeah, he does have a habit of wandering off. He's been trying to rig equipment to do something. We don't really know what. That boy is not quite right, you know. And Ghost was probably following him... and the girls are following him.

Tucker: What- I just said not to touch anything, and you guys let him walk away to find equipment? What the hell is wrong with you? Man, I swear, you guys have always been idiots but, this takes the cake.

Grif: Hey! He's on your team, asshole.

Tucker: Oh, right. ... Hey uh, so if you guys aren't doing anything, you wanna help me go find Caboose, Ghost and the chicks?

Sarge: Let's go.

Grif: So embarassing for you.

Tucker: Just go find the them.

Grif: So sad.

Tucker: I fucked your sister.

Grif: No you didn't Ghost did... multiple times!

Tucker: God dammit.

Check it out, Lopez is fixing the motorcycle

Lopez: (grunts)

Simmons: Looopeeeez!

Lopez: No! Acabo de fijar esto.

Caption: No! I just fixed this.

Lopez: Ésta es el mío.

Caption: This one is mine. Stay away!

Simmons: He's here! He's here!