Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert) [Being heavily overhauled]

Recreation Chapter 12: Well Hello

Fade in to Donut apparently running around randomly inside Blue Base

Donut: Doo dadoo, doo dadoo. Hm hm hm, hm hm hm. Ya ta doo doo doo. Ba ba ba, la la la. Man, Caboose sure can make a mess for just one person. Although, I guess he was trying to make another person. Which technically would make this a mess for two people. I think Caboose would be a great Dad. I wonder if I should have a kid. I never really thought I wanted one, but as I get older, I start to think maybe something is missing.

Someone creeps around in the shadows behind Donut, where Donut can't see him

Donut: Aw, I hope I didn't wait too long. I've been so focused on my career and having a good time, maybe it's too late for me. Oh great, now I sound like my Mother.

Donut turns around and sees the white guy who's been walking up behind him all this time

Donut: Oh hi there, you scared me. I didn't know anyone was over here at Blue Base. ... Strong silent type, huh? That's cool. Don't mind me, I'm just keeping the place a little tidy. Yeah, a clean base is a deadly base. That's what Sarge always says. Sarge is our Commander. You'll get a Sarge over here I'm sure, but he won't be like our Sarge. He'll be blue!

The camera pans around as Donut's talking, revealing the white guy is the Meta. You remember the Meta, right?

Donut: Man, the rest of the guys'll be so happy to have someone to fight. They're gonna be so relieved to see you! What did you say your name was?

The Meta makes a sound something like a swoosh?

Donut: Hmm, Oren, huh? Love the accent. Really works for you.

The Meta switches from his giant suitcase gun to a pistol

Donut: I should probably move this.

Donut ducks as the Meta fires and misses

Donut: Aw, don't worry buddy I already checked their weapons. All good, but thanks for helpin'.

The Meta dry-fires a couple times, then switches back to the giant suitcase gun

Donut: Wooh, this thing's heavy. Maybe if I grab the leg-

Donut moves out of the way as the Meta charges him swinging, making the Meta hit the body rather than Donut

Donut: We-hell, that was helpful. Thanks! Where'd you get that kickass broom?

The Meta approaches and aimes at Donut's face, making more swooshing noises, and we hear an engine in the background

Donut: Uh, do you hear that?

Simmons: Hey Donut, are you in there? Lopez built you a motorcycle. I broke it.

Donut: Hey! Yeah, Simmons, I'm inside the Blue Base. Guess what, Blue Team got a new soldier!

Simmons: What? They sent another team member? Why would they do that, that doesn't make any sense.

Simmons approaches the top of the ramp, sees the Meta, and recoils

Simmons: OH FUCK! Welcome to the neighbourhood, see you later!

Back to Dune where Grif and Sarge are being guided uphill

C.T.: Come on, move.

Grif: Alright already, we're moving. Don't boss me.

They get to the top of the hill to find Caboose surrounded by people with guns pointed at him, and the A.I. unit on the ground... and Ghost and Connie are missing...

C.T.: Hey, what's going on up here?

Alien: Rour? Rour.

Caption: <What do you mean? He was sabotaging the digger.>

C.T.: Sabotaging the digger, huh? I knew it. Who sent you here? What do they know about us?

Sarge: Dammit Caboose, why do you keep messing with the vehicles?

Caboose: Oh, yeah I was just trying to find a home for Epsilon. No biggie.

C.T.: What? What is that thing?

Rumble rumble rumble

Smith: Rour? Ruour rour?

Caption: <What. What's going on.>

A giant door slides up on that huge structure

C.T.: Shit, he's opening the temple! Dammit! Are you with him?

Grif: With who?

C.T.: Awh, crap! Get down there. Kill him if you have to and don't let that door close again no matter what happens!

Everyone scatters Ghost appears along with Connie... while South and Dhuka are still missing

Ghost: Get over here quickly!

Sarge: Hurry, let's move!

Grif: Let's get the fuck outta here!

Soldiers and aliens make a run for the temple, and end up shooting at each other

C.T.: Oh shit! Come in! Torrence!

More firefight

C.T.: Don't go there!

Grif enters the freighter and takes the wheel as fighting continues outside while Ghost and Connie took the two turrets on the Elephant and start shooting everyone... South and Dhuka come running over the ruins and start shooting everyone as well

Ghost: South! Whats going on?

South: You were right! These aren't military, the real military are dead

Ghost: Fuck, I knew it!

Grif: Yeheah, seeya suckers. You just got yoinked! How the fuck do you drive this thing? Why are there only four levers if there's six directions? What the fuck is sixth gear?

The freighter starts moving, with Sarge running alongside

Sarge: Grif, if you're gonna run away in the middle of battle, at least have the decency to drive faster than I can run!

Ghost: It's called an Elephant for a reason!

Grif: Why!

Connie: Because it's really fucking slow!

Grif: I don't get- okay fuck this, this is stupid.

Grif bails on the controls

Soldier: Get down!

Fighting continues, a jeep crashes and expels a soldier

Soldier: Ah fuck!

More fighting

C.T.: Smith, cover me! Move back!

Grif, Caboose and Sarge come up a dune and see Tucker

Tucker: Hey guys, run for the temple! I'll cover you, hurry!

Caboose: Oh, my Tucker! Is that you?

Tucker: Yeah, of course it's me. Now move!

Caboose: So, where've you been?

Tucker: What is this, some kind of fucking reunion? Move your asses, idiots. I'll meet you over there.

Ghost: You three move it! South, Sister, Dhuka, and Connie cover them and make sure they make it! Alright Tucker, let's kill some fuckers

Tucker: Bow chicka bow wow!

Ghost: Shut the fuck up and kill!

Ghost and Tucker start to kill the stragglers while the others head off in appropriate directions

South: Move your asses people!

Sarge: What in sam hell was all of that?

Grif: Who cares, just move.