Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert) [Being heavily overhauled]

Season 3 Episode 47: It's a Biological Fact

Fade in on the Boys and Tex outside O'malley's base near the warthog

Tex: What took you guys so long to get here?

Simmons: There's seven of us, and this is only a three seater jeep. Half of us had to sit on someone else's lap. While Ghost stood on top of the Jeep.

Ghost: It wasn't that bad.

Donut: It was a great road trip. My favourite part was when Grif tried to change gears, and he accidentally-

Grif: Hugh, please, let's not tell the story. Is there somewhere I can wash my hands?

Ghost: Just cut it off...

Sarge:    What you find, Tex?

Tex: Well, O'Malley's holed up in his fortress. He's been fortifying his defenses for a few days now, and he's got some help, one of those religious nuts you guys picked up.

Ghost:  Oh God, not those idiot.

Caboose: Oh, I like them. They were funny.

Tucker: Caboose, they tried to kill you because of a flag.

Caboose: I try not to remember the bad things about people.

Tucker: That's all they tried to do, there were no good things.

Caboose: That's okay. I have a really bad memory-wow look, a beach!

Sarge:    Shut up Caboose. What's yer plan, Tex?

As Tex explains her plan, we see a nice, majestic, panoramic view of O'Malley's base, like it's a movie or something

Tex: Well first we have to breach the outer wall.

Caboose: Oh. I love breaching!

Tex: Then, we have to get past another wall.

Grif: Two walls? Some people are so materialistic.

Tex: The second wall has a guard tower, and an enormous razor-sharp spinning blade.

Simmons: What that thing? It's spinning like two miles an hour.

Tex: I didn't say it'd be hard to get past. After that, we have to pass the gun turrets, and break in to the building.

Sarge:    And then we attack O'Malley.

Tex: No. That's when we plant, this.

Caboose: ...We're planting a volleyball.

Ghost: No caboose it's a bomb just think is it of it as this, bomb equals "big boom" or "big explosion"

Caboose: OK that makes sense

Tex: Wow you can actually get through to him.

Ghost: Yeah, it's kind of easy to do it, just make it very simple for him.

Tex: Well I've scouted a location inside the base where we can set it off and take the whole place down. I marked the spot with a big X.

Tucker: You scouted it.

Tex: Yeah.

Tucker: If you got past the two walls, the huge spinning blade, the gun turrets, and made it all the way in to the fortress, why didn't you just plant the bomb then instead of putting a big X on the floor?

Tex: ...I can't carry it.

Grif: What?

Simmons: What was that?

Tex: It's too heavy, okay? You happy?

Grif: Yeah kinda.

Tex: I need one of you idiots to carry it. I don't have the upper body strength to move it on my own.