𝕃𝕆𝕊𝔼ℝ • conan gray

𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟚𝟟

☹☹☹

I was so discouraged by what I saw that night at Conan's party that I ignored him for the rest of the tour. He'd try to talk to me or show me some meme on his phone, and I would push him off saying I'm too tired.

I know I'm being immature, but I can't help it. It pissed me off even more that he still didn't tell me about talking with Liz and how she kissed him. I didn't bother asking because I wanted him to be the one who admits it.

I can't be mad though, we aren't together or anything. We're just friends who happened to like each other. We never put any labels, and we agreed not to go any further until I've fully 'recovered' from my break up.

The thing is I was ready for the break up. I knew it was gonna happen at some point, so I was coping with it well. It didn't really take me long to recover.

But at this point I'm starting to have second thoughts and doubts about him liking me. Who knows if he told the truth. For all I know he could be into Liz by now.

I bet he is; it's all too good to be true anyway.

We only had 2 days left on tour and I still haven't talked to Conan. It's not like it matters anyway, he's been hanging out with Liz a lot. It could just be me but I swear when I'm around, she gets extra clingy towards him; probably just to spite me.

She'd sometimes lean on his shoulder, wrap her arm around his, or even around his waist. I despised it so much, but I couldn't say anything about it at all.

In order to avoid that, all I've been doing for the past two weeks when we were in the tour bus traveling is staying in my room and distracting myself. I'd listen to music, use my phone, or bring some snacks from the pantry and eat them on my bunkbed.

I rarely go out for dinner now, and when I do, I always end up getting pissed at Liz. I swear she knows what she's doing and how it's making me feel.

Christine and the others started getting concerned for my wellbeing but I always managed to give them excuses like being sick or just exhaustion in general.

Right now I was lying on my bed listening to the playlist Alisa gave me on the first day of touring. 'Hate To See Your Heart Break' by Paramore was filling up my ears through my earphones.

Then in the middle of the song, I hear footsteps from outside and see Conan entering the room. He was looking at me, his eyes trying to tell me something.

I sit down and move to the side so he'd have some space to sit on. He then sits beside me and looks down on the floor. "You haven't been talking to me at all." he said softly.

"I'm just tired." I say coldly, making him look at me. "That's what you always say, Prairs. Tell me, did I do something wrong?"

I scoff at what he said. "Wow, I didn't know you actually cared."

"Of course I care, you're my friend."

"Well I sure don't feel like it anymore!" I say, my voice suddenly a bit raised. Conan looked surprised and confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I know what happened between you and Liz." I say, my voice breaking. I don't make eye contact with him. "That night on your birthday party, I saw her kiss you." I say with an even lower volume, tense that someone might hear.