𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟛𝟚

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☹☹☹

I couldn't go to Alisa's right now. She was still on her shift. I didn't have that many close friends here in LA- or even anywhere else, sadly- so at this point all I could do was spiral in my own apartment.

My mind locked on to the location of my home, zooming through the roads. I didn't even check if I was over the speed limit. I didn't give a damn about anything else at this moment; not even my safety.

I just wanted to get away from the coffee shop; away from those people. I couldn't bare to see him alone, what more when he's doing PDA with someone I hate with every inch of my existence?

I turned my car in the familiar corners of the streets I lived close to. Once I had the building of my apartment in my sight, I felt better. Just slightly.

I parked my car in my designated parking space and made my way to the floor where I live. I wasted no time the moment I saw my door nearby, as I started digging for the keys in my pocket.

Once I got ahold of the keys, I immediately stuck it in the keyhole. I felt too messed up to even think straight that I couldn't immediately unlock the door. I just kept twisting and jerking the key, groaning in frustration.

The door finally opened and I stomped my way in, slamming the door behind me. I promptly went to my bedroom after throwing my stuff on the floor without a care in the world.

I opened the bedroom door and slammed it shut, just like I did with the entrance door. I then pressed my back against the door, my breathing very heavy.

The events of today finally sunk in, and my breathing starting to slow down. I recalled everything that happened today; what happened back at that godforsaken coffee shop.

I hate them.

I hate people.

Humans are fucking disgusting.

I felt a burning sensation in my eyes and the next thing I knew, my cheeks were soaked in tears, flowing vigorously from the gates to my soul.

I felt so... nothing. I felt nothing; like my mind completely shut down. I could've sworn I heard my heart breaking into tiny shards, more than it already was the past few months.

It was as if I had reached my breaking point.

I felt my chest getting tight, like I couldn't breathe. But the rest of my body was numb. I couldn't feel anything else besides my chest as if getting suffocated, and the tears dripping from my chin.

I felt myself slide down to the floor, bringing my knees close to my chest as I rock myself back and forth. I could feel the floor below me, so cold.

I closed my eyes as I still feel never ending tears coming out from my eyes. I didn't know why I was hurt over this.

What was I crying for anyways? He's with someone else, I don't have the right to be in this state. I hated feeling like this.

That bitch..

She always ruins everything for me. She practically enjoys tormenting me. She knows what she's doing and how it affects me. She's doing this with purely malicious intent.

Or maybe I'm just overthinking.

Oh god, what's happening to me.

If I wasn't thinking straight a while ago, this time I couldn't even think at all. All logic has disappeared. Everything I worked on to make myself better, those programs I went to, every ounce of hard work towards making myself emotionally healthy; all thrown out the window instantaneously.

𝕃𝕆𝕊𝔼ℝ • conan grayWhere stories live. Discover now