𝕃𝕆𝕊𝔼ℝ • conan gray

𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟛𝟘

☹☹☹

Too scared to find out whose voice it belonged to- even though it was clear to see that I instantly knew who it was- I stayed down below him. Slowly picking up my jacket, I didn't make any any eye contact.

"I should go now—" I was about to dismiss the person when they spoke before I even finished. "Prairie, is that you?" I feel a hand wrap around my wrist. It felt soft and slightly cold; I'm assuming he was nervous or something.

Oh my god this real. This is real.

"Sorry, you must have the wrong person." I say as if we were in a call. I couldn't think of any response and that was the first thing that popped in my mind.

They don't let go of my wrist as they help me stand up. I still don't look at the person's face. I realized how much of a wuss I've become over the past few months.

"Prairie." I hear the person call again so I give in and look at their direction. One thing I was sure of was I was not ready for what I was about to see in front of me. It was him.

It really is him.

He was right there, in front of me, talking to me. Everything then came back to me like a train had hit me. Every single memory of last year went back to me, the good and bad ones.

Somehow I felt nauseous, but not at him. It was so hard to take in, all these memories filled with sentiments all at once. It's like I was suffocated with different emotions and thoughts.

I took a good look at him and noticed he looked different now. Way different. His hair was all grown out now and it ended an inch above his broad shoulders. They still look so damn soft.

I looked down and saw what he was wearing had a different style as well. He wore an oversized black printed shirt with some jeans that were ripped in the knee area. He paired this with some converse and a buttoned sweater left open over his shirt.

The next detail I knew took me aback. Along with a black belt that had silver rimmed on its holes, chains were hanging off the belt loop of his pants. "I see you changed your clothing style." I say almost breathily.

Your posture never changed though—
oops, my mouth slipped.

"I kind of got the chains bit from you." He says as he awkwardly runs his hand through his long hair. I don't say anything back, watching his hand's movement as it went through his brown locks.

Even until now, I still wanna touch it.

We both realized we haven't let go of each other's hand. I think I had a moment of deja vu. I quickly let go, feeling myself blush slightly, but missing the contact. Conan clears his throat. "It's been too long."

"I-I know, we haven't even seen or chatted each other for months!" I stutter slightly, still in shock of what was happening right before my very eyes. So he wouldn't get suspicious, I just fake a smile as he laughs.

Nor did I want to see you at all.

"We should continue talking in the cafe, yeah?" he suggests and I gulp, nervous of the outcome. "Are you sure? I might be wasting your time." I was about to come up with an excuse, like having to pick up groceries for my dinner, which I really was about to do after going to the cafe.

"You're being absurd! Besides, I wanna catch up with you." he says giving me a warm smile. The sunset in the horizon made his golden brown eyes glow.

How could I say no to that face?

"Alright, I'll grab us some seats and you order a drink." I say and we both walk in the coffee shop. "Oh Prairie, how come you came back?" I hear Mandy ask from the counter.

"Bumped into an old friend. Says he wants to catch up." I say and Conan walks toward her direction to order something, waving his hand at Mandy. Her eyes widened at the sight of Conan.

Sometimes I forget he's that well known.

She looked starstruck which made me laugh. I never really thought he had an effect on people since I was stuck with him for months. "You two know each other?" Conan asks as Mandy shakes his hand.

"Yeah, she works here. I should be asking you that." she replies which made him chuckle. Conan proceeded to order his drink and once he claimed it, he went to my table and sat across me.

We caught each other up on everything. I told him about how I got a new apartment, saying he should visit some time (brave move right there), how Alisa helped me get back up on my feet, and how I started working in this coffee shop.

He told me every even that happened during my absence since late December. He told me about Christine and the others, and how they were doing well. Apparently Bianca had to resign and now they have a new drummer, and her name is Hayley.

He told me on the things he's been very into lately, like TikTok and showed me some of his videos. They were so chaotic and hilarious, we laughed so hard at them that a few of the customers inside gave us weird looks.

For a moment, it felt like I went back to those easier times with him, where we were the closest we've ever been. I missed the feeling of being comfortable with him and acting like my true self, it made me feel so warm nostalgic.

"So, how's everything been? God everyone's probably forgotten about me." I joke but my eyebrows furrow as my smile slowly faded, hearing Conan reply seriously. "They miss you, y'know." My smile then completely disappeared and I cleared my throat.

"Oh... they don't need to worry though, I'm doing fine. Though I still don't know if I'm going back to the band soon." I say getting slightly more nervous as each second passes. I didn't want to go back yet.

I wasn't really ready to see Conan now, what more if I go back to working for him with the band? It would be a complete catastrophe, and would probably trigger my brain, making some of my issues come back. I'd be back to square one.

"It's okay, you should take your time." Conan assures which made me sigh a breath of relief, seeing that he's supportive even after months of not keeping in touch with each other. Even until now he was still so gentle, despite his appearance looking a bit edgy.

I can see why I fell for him in the first place.

After that, we stayed silent for a moment. This kind of silence we had was strange. I felt slightly uneasy but at the same time I don't. There definitely might be something wrong with me.

I didn't know what to feel about all this. I met him so suddenly that I didn't have time to plan any course of action. It sounds stupid but that's how much of a mess my brain is at the moment.

Then, by some miracle, I said what I never realized was swimming in the back of my head the entire time. It was like the filter was taken off of my mouth. I think I regretted saying it the moment it escaped my lips.

"I miss you."

☹☹☹

Oop

God bless and hope y'all enjoyed this chapter!
-iana <3