𝕃𝕆𝕊𝔼ℝ • conan gray

𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟛𝟡

☹☹☹

I slowly walk towards the bench he was sitting in. I sat down, Conan giving space by moving to the side. I took in the beautiful view in front of us.

You could see the city from up here; all the different buildings looking like a cluster of white blocks with a few different colors. The sun was beginning to set, hence making the scenery a thousand times better.

My good mood from the view was sadly interrupted by the main reason why I came to meet in the first place. I glance at Conan who wasn't looking at me; it seemed that he was distraught. I totally understand him though. Who wouldn't be upset at the fact that someone who you hoped to consider a friend would just cut all contact with you?

"I'm sorry," I softly said, continuing to bask in the sight of the city below. "Sorry for ghosting you for a month. I know I said we could be friends, but I decided to be a coward and avoid you." I look at Conan who was just looking down, playing with the drawstrings on his hoodie. "That hurt, you know; not hearing from you all of a sudden after saying we could hangout."

"I know, I was such a pussy; but now I'm ready to change that. Conan," I say as I place my hand on his shoulder, making him look at me. "Can we be friends now?" I ask, full of hope. The sunset is as golden as ever at this hour, and the sight of Conan was- I don't know how to describe it.

Conan in the sunset was absolutely immaculate.

His face full of beauty marks is truly radiant in the golden light; his lips look amazing- probably even better than mine. His eyes are absolutely glowing in its caramelized hazel hue. And his hair;

Still impeccable as ever.

I had a moment of deja vu. I remember that day when he asked me the same thing. We were sitting on the hood of my car, watching the sunset from the parking lot of the building where we'd rehearse for the tour.

He didn't answer for a while, and that made me afraid. I wished with every inch of my being that he would accept my apology. I anticipate for his answer as he continues to look as if in deep thought.

He still wasn't answering and I was now terrified. I could have just cried right then and there, but he finally spoke up. "Just kidding, I was pretending to think deeply." he laughs as I roll my eyes, unable to contain a laugh myself.

"Of course, Prairs. You're one of the best people I could have as a friend." he says with a warm smile, which made me relieved. I hugged him straightaway, resulting in him almost losing balance in his seat. He chuckled at my actions but I didn't care. I was just glad that he could still be my friend. I released from the hug after a moment.

As I broke away the embrace, I thought I heard Conan mutter something under his breath. I could barely make out what he said, but I heard it anyway. "If only we could be more than friends." It went like something along those lines. I pretended not to hear it, but I couldn't contain the blush starting to creep up on my cheeks.

I really wish we could be more than friends too, but I'm not sure if I have the balls to do that now.

After calming down, we chatted about what's been happening to us the past month when we weren't talking. He told me how Ash was doing as well, and all the antics he'd come up with when he visited her just recently.

We continued talking about the trivial things until the sun had fully set. Once it was too dark, we bid each other goodbye and we promised not to ignore each other anymore. And honestly, I wouldn't plan on doing so.

☹

After that day, I slowly started to catch up with everyone. That included Ash, Christine and the band. I've gotten to know Hayley, their new drummer, and Renny, their new keyboard player.

They were very chill people and they got along with Conan very well, so I was glad they were now a part of the family. Although I was bummed Bianca wasn't in the band anymore, I still made sure to keep in touch with her.

As for Conan and I, we've been hanging out a lot for the past few weeks. We still weren't as close as we were last year but we were getting there; slowly but surely. Sometimes we'd go out on random drives at night, going wherever the hell the road took us. We'd end up in a beautiful place where there weren't any people around.

We play our music really loud and just take in our surroundings as we drive through different streets. It felt really good to almost be this close to him again. I never realized how much I missed those times when we'd randomly laugh at nothing for no reason at all- yes, I miss being a crackhead with Cone.

If we don't feel like going outside, we'd just stay at my apartment and watch films, Alisa occasionally joining in when she wants to. She doesn't really come with us on our hang outs because she thinks she's 'disturbing our date and feeling like a thirdwheel'.

I know she had meant it as a joke, and she made it clear to me; although I can't help but blush at the thought of my random hangouts with Conan being dates.

In all honesty, I wished they actually were dates. I wanted them to be so badly.

But there's always this voice at the back of my mind, saying I won't make it; it keeps telling me that everything bad that happened to me will happen again if I fall for him again.

But then again, there's no hope as I've already fallen in too deep for him.

I snap out of my thoughts when I feel weight next to me on my bed. It was Alisa with a bowl of popcorn fresh from the microwave. We were having our usual movie night when Alisa opened the topic of my birthday. We were discussing what to do for it. "Do you wanna do the usual when my birthday comes? It's only a month away." I ask.

Our usual celebration for my birthday was to either go on a picnic and/or go to the beach. Then we'd go do other random activities like buying shit we don't need. It was simple but it made my day.

Alisa doesn't respond so I look at her, waiting for an answer. "Yo, Lis." I snap my fingers in front of her face and she yanks my hand away. "Yeah sure, maybe. Though I was thinking we should maybe spice it up a bit." she says, making my ears perk up. "Like what?" I ask curiously, but she started to look tense.

"Ah, you know what, maybe we should just stick to the usual. What I actually meant by spicing things up was giving you a really cool gift." she replies quickly.

Okay...

"Well, now you just spoiled it." I say smirking as I poke her cheek, making the blonde woman roll her eyes at me. "Shut it, Taylor." I laugh at her retort.

We continue to watch the film we were watching, and spent the rest of the night just hanging out. At the back of my mind, I couldn't help but wonder what kind of gift Alisa would give me.

☹☹☹

Another one bc y'all know I love them cursed

God bless and hope y'all enjoyed this chapter!
-iana <3